The baby train. Some people want on, some couldn’t care less and some are just so consumed with the idea of getting not only getting on it, but getting there at record speed that the people are around them start to lose their mind.
Do you know what it’s like to have a friend who is so obsessed with getting pregnant that they’re almost living their lives as if they are pregnant? They’ve stopped drinking, because, you know, just in case. They no longer eat sushi or cold cuts, because, again, there could be a fetus developing a THIS VERY MOMENT. So why should we fuck with it and jeopardize the possibility of having a perfect child? Not that any mother needs a perfect child, they just want it to be happy, of course, but it’s best to cover all your bases and stop doing anything now that you wouldn’t do pregnant.
Then there are those who haven’t transform their lives — yet — but just can’t stop talking about it. Twenty-four hours a day and all you hear is “I’m not pregnant,” “Well, when I get pregnant,” “I think I feel like I may be pregnant — was that a kick?!”
It’s a beautiful thing to want to create, but obsession at any level is bound to drive those around you a bit batty. So if you’re the one having to listen to all this obsession, if you’re the one who can’t bring up anything – even a conversation about, say, garden vegetables – without it somehow turning into a conversation about why you’re friend absolutely must, as in this very second, get knocked up, then don’t fret my furry pets, because you’re not alone.
When Annie accidentally got pregnant with her husband – they weren’t even trying – her sister-in-law, who had been trying, literally lost her shit:
She and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for well over a year and when I could no longer hide the fact that I was pregnant, I thought for sure she was either going to murder me on the spot or we’d have to commit her to an asylum.
She was not only trying to get pregnant obsessively, but it’s all she could even think or talk about for even before that year of trying started.
You know how Charlotte in Sex and the City was losing her mind over trying to get knocked up with Trey? K was just like that. And remember when Miranda got pregnant and considered getting an abortion? Again, it was a similar response. K took it as a personal offense, as if I did it in spite of her. I was selfish and cruel. So I just avoided her at all costs. Even at holidays you’d find me hiding in the other room faraway from her.
When she finally got pregnant several months later she apologized for her behavior, but then she became obsessed with how she was, obviously, going to the be the most perfect mother in the world. I think if I had met her in the early stages of dating Jeremy, it probably wouldn’t have lasted. She’s insane.