It’s common knowledge that 50 Shades of Grey has inspired bored housewives around the world to confuse their husbands by buying masks and whips and saying “Jeeze” in 30 different languages. Well, logic dictates that some of those husbands are bound to be more psyched about it than others, the least psyched of whom is probably English banker [redacted], who hates the idea of spicing up his love life so much that he’s divorcing his wife because she dared to dream.
“She thought their sex life had hit a rut,” the woman’s divorce lawyer Amanda McAlister told The Daily Mail:
“He never remembered Valentine’s Day and he never complimented her on her appearance. So she bought sexy underwear in an attempt to get her husband more involved. She said, ‘Let’s make things more interesting.’ But when he still didn’t take any notice she told him he had a boring attitude to sex and she was fed up.
He went ballistic when he found out the name of the book she was reading and told her, ‘It’s all because you have been reading that bloody book.’”
This might be the first time in history I’ve felt any sympathy whatsoever for a man shouting “It’s all because you have been reading that bloody book!” at a woman. That said, if I were him, I’d be less concerned my wife wanted to try out some light bondage and more concerned she sincerely loved a work of literature containing the line “my inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” That, right there, should be grounds enough for whatever version of “irreconcilable differences” they have in British law, although one might then be justified in asking the man why he married a woman with such poor taste in erotica to begin with.
Shitty writing aside, though, I think the husband sounds like kind of a dick. Try to put yourself in her (sexy bondage) shoes. If you were married to someone you ostensibly cared about, and they were open enough to share some potentially embarrassing (but potentially fun) desires with you, you’d hear them out and try not to laugh at them, right? Even if that desire was “I want to try out some stuff from this mommy porn book I recently masturbated to”? You certainly wouldn’t ex-communicate them, would you? Communication is a good thing, people.
Personally, I have a tough time believing that this marriage was totally healthy before she read the bloody book, but who knows? Maybe 50 Shades is terrible enough to turn even the most loving marriages to crap.
(Via The New York Daily News)
