Why Can’t We Have A Female James Bond?

The Hollywood Reporter is curious about the lack of female James Bond equivalents. They’ve discovered it’s because ladies are just there for sex, and pining:

Of course, many of Bond’s women didn’t help to expand that catalog. “You also have to look at the place of women in most of the Bond films … it’s pretty grim,” says Angyal. From the femme fatales who use sex to trick Bond, to the women used as playthings in villains’ games, to the one-off sexual playthings who hop in and out of his bed, to the pining secretarial standby Moneypenny, the ladies of the Bond series, are for the most part, accessories to Bond himself. Not the stations that inspire the next female super spy.

And moreover, they are certainly not just there for sex, because one of the main reasons to become a spy is to form long, meaningful, lasting relationships:

Part of the roadblock for spying ladies is the audience’s thirst for romance. Whereas Bond gets to “love” his Bond girls and leave them, female spies almost always have more sentimental love interests (in their past or present) when they’re running the show. These women rarely have one-off sexual encounters like Bond has had (though he does so less often in more recent films), lest they be painted as a femme fatale rather than a heroic figure. Oftentimes, a character’s proclivity for romance rather than pure sex is what separates her from the villainess. Even Homeland’s unostentatious spy Carrie Matheson finds herself in a deep romantic entanglement while on the trail. It’s practically unavoidable.

The thing is, this is dumb. That’s the problem with that logic, really. The logic is dumb.

First, it’s dumb because the kind of person who really wants to settle down and have a meaningful partnership is probably not the kind of person who’d be attracted to the notion of being a spy. Spies work alone. And they lie constantly. Don Draper is attracted to the idea of being a spy. June Cleaver is not. Romance is certainly avoidable if you are a trained spy. I mean, lust is not avoidable, I think if I were in potentially life threatening situations all the time, that could happen, but long term pining is avoidable.

But that’s not the main reason this is dumb. It’s dumb because women can have sex with men for their own pleasure. They can even be portrayed as doing so in popular culture. You need proof? Here is proof:

samantha jones bond

The microfilm is hidden somewhere on his person.

She was pretty popular.

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    • Nein

      NO NO NO! This is something that should just be left to men. Honestly, I am a feminist if there ever was one, but this should be left to the male gender. Of course women can do everything men can do, but “James Bond” is going to be always known as a man. Putting a women in it will just ruin everything this movie is about. Some things are better left to Sean Connerys rather then Uma Thurmans.

    • Candace

      But he orders vodka martinis.

    • Lastango

      Why can’t we have a female James Bond? Because we can’t even have a masculine one anymore. In the latest flic, the director has him being fondled by another man.
      Face it — in demanding a clearcut female Bond you’re calling for an anachronism the filmmaking establishment will not tolerate under any circumstances. If we did get Jamie Bond, she would be larded down with her own social baggage. In between shooting people and engaging in lustful sex with evil men and women trying to kill her, she will be placed into scenes that allow her to fight Global Warming while showing her concern for hungry children in Africa.
      So, foggeddaboutit. The clearest tip-of-the-iceberg signal James Bond was over came when our cultural dictators jerked the storyline by making his boss a woman. They will never allow his essece to be revived, even as Jamie.

      • Lo

        Fondled by another man? That’s double the masculinity, surely.

      • Lastango

        Only in Deconstructionland, where the word “masculinity” has no significance whatever.

    • Bavmorda

      I love the idea of a female James Bond! At first I thought, nah but then again, how awesome! When Daniel Craig retires they should just slot a woman into the next script, change the ‘he’s’ to ‘she’s’ and roll the film.

    • Lo

      The ‘James Bond is a codename’ theory is my favourite, but even the most cavebound supervillian would know it’s a guy’s name. What I’d really like to see would be more stories about original, married-to-the-job female spies, who actually had a bit of fun while saving the world.

      • Lo

        *supervillain. I think I got my wires crossed with Vaudeville for a second…

    • MR

      But not aspects of Mata Hari? Also ‘Lara Croft’ is where Craig got his start.