Jenny McCarthy Tried To Have Sex With A Tree While High On Ecstasy

Jenny McCarthy is currently best known as a crusader against childhood vaccinations, which she believes cause autism. This pisses me off mainly because I like science and hate smallpox, but I’m also saddened by the loss of what was once a wacky-fun force in our culture. Remember how hyper she was on “Singled Out”? She was like Cameron Diaz, Courtney Stodden, Anna Nicole Smith, and Jack Black all rolled into one. I miss that.

The release of her book Bad Habits: Confessions Of A Recovering Catholic makes me happy, then, because it reminds me of a time when Jenny McCarthy was an endless source of merriment. If blogs had been a “thing” back then, can you imagine how much play she would’ve gotten? Case in point: this delightful story about taking a bunch of ecstasy and trying to have sex with a tree:

Via The Daily Mail:

“I found myself holding a tree to brace myself. The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping!”

Hey, it was the nineties. And that’s not all:

However, it was not the only trouble Jenny had while taking the drug – her friends suggested going to get help once when they freaked out about how much they had taken, until the former Playboy Playmate of the Year realised they were all naked and best not.
She said: ‘I noticed that we weren’t wearing anything.
‘So I responded, “Let’s not. We’re naked. Let’s just try to sneak back to the beach and get our clothes.” ‘

So sensible, that Jenny McCarthy. But wait, there’s more:

‘I heard a chanting voice breathing down my neck. It kept saying, “Bimbos in limbo.”
‘This must have been an act of God to punish me.’

See? Jenny McCarthy was so good at playing a blonde bimbo that even God noticed.

Come back to us, fun Jenny McCarthy. We can hump on trees together and grab each other’s boobs. I will bring the vaccines. I mean ecstasy. Dammit, do you see what you’ve done? You are just a pile of bummers now.

(Via The Daily Mail)

Photo: WENN

Share This Post:
    • sdfghjkl

      I have never understood how people lose it like that on ecstacy…having taken it many times (not that I’m proud of it, just saying I have experience) I never once found that a tree felt so awesome that I had to rub up on it. I also never looked down and realized I was naked. Like yeah, it’s really fun and you feel awesome, but I just don’t get how people go so crazy. Although sitting here reminiscing on my crazy druggie days is making me sort of miss it haha.

      • jamiepeck

        Agreed. It’s not like you lose your mind and forget taking your clothes off! I can understand how a tree would feel nice, though.

      • sdfghjkl

        Haha definitely, one time I just rubbed my hands together for an hour or so talking about how they felt like couds. I’m sure a tree would have been awesome! SIlly Ms. McCarthy’s descriptions sounds like a hallucinogen or something haha. Someone probably put a little drop of acid on her pills. Poor, poor Jenny.

      • sdfghjkl

        That comment is horribly written I apologize haaa

        *Silly, *descriptions sound

    • Bob105

      Thanks for the picture of Jenny. Wow, what a beauty! You don’t need to listen to her when it comes to vaccines and autism. Insted, do your own Pubmed search on the topic. You will find over 550 published papers. There are over 175 just on the topic of “autism and thimerosal (the mercury based vaccine preservative) alone. Over 75% of these papers actually support the autism/vaccine link.