• Tue, Nov 20 2012

Kate Middleton Is Pregnant! (Maybe.) (Again.)

If there’s anything I’ve learned from reading about celebrities, it’s that famous women’s hypothetical lives revolve around babies (according to tabloids, at least). They are either pregnant, desperate to become pregnant, jealous of somebody else’s pregnancy, or too old to become pregnant–and that’s just if you examine Jennifer Aniston’s headlines. There are a whole slew of speculations that surround female celebrities, but in the past year, none of captivated the fortune-telling media quite like Kate Middleton and her uterus.

 

Whether it’s because she neglected to eat a peanut and gave her husband “a look,” or because life begins at conception which begins at Photoshop, Kate Middleton has been supposedly pregnant more times than is countable.

 

This time, the rumor is a result of a “childhood friend” who supposedly knows for sure that Middleton is pregnant. Jessica Hay, a former roommate of Middleton’s who attended the Royal wedding, reportedly told Australian magazine New Idea that Middleton is pregnant and that “they’re planning to make an announcement in December. William and Kate are focused on starting a family.”
Before we all start anticipating Babegeddon in which obsessed Royal Family fans attempt to have children and model as many aspects as possible …

I SAID NOT YET, GOD DAMMIT.

…Jessica Hay has a bit of a history involving the use of Kate Middleton “inside knowledge” for her own monetary gain. According to Huffington Post, she claimed she was told about Kate and William’s engagement in 2010 prior to anybody else, and that the wedding would be “sometime [in the] next year,” which obviously took a lot of deductive skills. She also apparently left her job in order to sell stories about Middleton, which is both depressing and fucked-up.

 

So, while this source is barely more credible than the usual “anonymous tipsters,” I think we’ll all breathe a collective sigh if the rumor is true. That way, there won’t be quite so many pregnancy rumors and they can go back to speculating about her boobs again.

 

Photo: WENN.com
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  • MR

    Again, another good article. And just for the record (this from my dad, whose half Irish and born in Britain): “Her child is the future of the British aristocracy.”. You know when I was younger he used to always say, as a US immigrant: “Get a job, Charlie.”. That’s in reference to Charles (the current Prince of Wales), Wills’ dad. As far as your point, it’s just a matter of time, and she knows it. Her oldest, if it’s a girl and after Wills, the next constitutional monarch of Britain.

  • Prissy

    SHE IS! SHE IS! B.Palace just confirmed (according to German TV, that is…)