It’s Thanksgiving and editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff should probably be talking about something holiday-related and SEO friendly (you know, like potbelly-concealing occasion dresses). Instead, they’re talking about ghosts because they give absolutely no fucks this week.
Jennifer:Â Â What are we debating?
Ashley:Â Â Ghosts. We’re debating ghosts.
Jennifer:Â Â What about ghosts?
Ashley:Â Â Well, we’re supposed to do something Thanksgiving-themed because it’s Thanksgiving week. And there’s pretty fertile terrain there–how one behaves like aÂ recalcitrantÂ teenager around one’s parents, how one deals with one’s significant other’s family, how you find a balance between getting wasted and keeping it together around family/friends–but, that’s just not in the cowboy spirit of The Gloss and instead we’re debating whether or not ghosts are scary. To begin: extremely.
Jennifer:Â Â NO! GHOSTS ARE FRIENDLY YOU FUCKING IDIOT. NO WONDER YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND YOUR SO’S PARENTS.
Ashley:Â Â I moved into this apartment in college and the girl who was passing it off told me the bedroom was haunted and she had to anoint the corners of the room with milk and honey. Did you know that was a thing? Why do ghosts hate milk and honey? Is it supposed to upset or appease them? What’s your favorite Thanksgiving side?
Jennifer:Â Â Stuffing. Did you know I’m a ghost?
Ashley:Â Â Stuffing is the correct answer, but ghosts wouldn’t say stuffing. They’d say MASHED BOOOTATOS.