The Troubling Misuse Of ‘Inner Beauty’ For Those With Non-Standard Attractiveness

Remember that (horrible) movie “Shallow Hal” from 2001? It’s the one where Jack Black is this incredibly vapid asshole (Hal) who refuses to pursue any woman who’s not tall, thin and pretty in that Victoria’s Secret way? Then he gets a curse put on him so he can only see people’s “inner beauty,” which leads him to believe that women who are overweight or have crooked teeth look like the average supermodel. He winds up meeting Gwyneth Paltrow’s character Rosemary who looks like Paltrow in his eyes, but in “actuality,” is very overweight. Because of the curse, he gives her a chance and falls for her, then gets freaked out when he realizes she’s fat, then figures out he loves her and they end up together and Jason Alexander has a tail.

So what that he treated her like shit? He learned a lesson! Redemption! He’s so totally not an asshole now! Revelations are the best!

GET IT? FAT PEOPLE ARE GROSS UNLESS THEY'RE GOOP ON THE INSIDE.

The whole focus of the film is supposed to be the importance of “inner beauty,” but in actuality, it just projects a single message: If you are overweight or have non-straight teeth or are somehow not standardly beautiful, then you better have an exquisite personality because no fish are gonna bite otherwise. Basically, if you are fat, men will only fall in love with you if they’re under a fucking curse.

Obviously, women have been told to look, dress, act and exist in particular ways according to societal standards. One of those standards, despite varying throughout history, has been the “ideal body.” Hundreds of years ago, this ideal was considerably plumper than it is these days, as weighing more was a sign of good health and a wealthier class. Last century, this fluctuated considerably, from idealizing a straight shape in the 1920s to desiring wider, “childbearing hips” in the 50s to Twiggy to supermodels to whatever we recognize as beautiful these days. But regardless of its exact properties, there has always been an ideal.

The problem with having any kind of “ideal body” is obvious: women will feel the need to change accordingly. Many will not change simply because they want healthy lifestyles or because it will positively affect certain aspects of their systems; they’ll be changing because looking a certain way is seen as superior to looking another. Regardless of whether or not they’re already healthy, many women alter their appearances to fit into this ideal–but we all already know that.

Beauty ideals are changing once again, but in a new way: all sorts of different body types, rather than one ideal, are being seen as beautiful. This is fantastic, but with it also arrives a new kind of obnoxious behavior.

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Eve

You hit the nail right smack on the head! This is a definite trend and it’s always bothered me, I just couldn’t articulate it. When people say things like “He likes big girls because he’s not shallow and he doesn’t care about appearances,” it’s like, um, no, maybe he thinks fat girls are sexy and he only cares about their looks. The idea that fat women can simply be beautiful, as in outwardly, as in skin-deep, still seems beyond some people and that’s just absurd.
Guest

this is absolutely true, and the sad part is, those of us who fall into the category of “bigger girls” inevitably end of up being brain washed! totally subconsciously I always find myself wondering why someone likes me, or doubting they find me attractive because I just assume it couldn’t be true, and THAT is really sad.
Benita

Stuff like this will continue until women are allowed to be unattractive. Yes, I mean that. Not everyone is beautiful nor should we be coddled and told that we are. Women shouldn’t feel that they are owed beauty nor that they have to be beautiful, when that goes away maybe the world will be a slightly better place for us.
- Tania
  
  That is, unfortunately, true. Everyone is always focused on telling little girls how pretty they look, instead of how well they do at whatever, which is, in the long run, way more important than how someone looks. Yes, being reasonably attractive can/does help with certain things (the studies that show attractive people earn more), but that doesn’t mean actual accomplishments count for nothing. I’d rather be an ugly genius than a beautiful asshole.
Jade

It is assumed that all women WANT to be beautiful and sexy, ‘oh that
poor ugly woman, we’ll tell her she has inner beauty to make her feel
better’. When society can deal with women who are not beautiful, and
accept their merit without without it being attached to the word beauty
(inner or otherwise) maybe then, women will finally be able to start
relaxing.
Nat

This is something I grew up with, I’ve always been a smaller/athletic body type and my older sister is very overweight. She struggles with her weight, primarily because it has caused some health problems recently, but she’s always been confident about her appearances and I’ve always thought she was one of the prettiest woman I know (a little biased, but still). Anyway, I grew up my whole life with people suggesting or asking my sister how it will feel when I get married first, being SHOCKED when I tell them my sister has a new boyfriend, and people saying stuff such as “well, I’m sure she has a great personality”, “you like to run, why don’t you just get her to lose weight”, “she has such pretty features, it’s a shame she doesn’t take after your mom (who is skinny) and not your dad (who is overweight)”. And it really hurts. Because I am suppose to agree with these people. But I don’t. She’s happy with the way she looks, so everyone else should be as well. Her recent motivation to lose weight has nothing to do with appearances, yet every time someone notices she’s been trying, they say something like “oh! you’ll look so great!” implying she doesn’t now. So that’s shitty. But I think the real kicker is my mom asking me the other day if her boyfriend thought she was pretty. I said, yes why wouldn’t he? And my mom said, well, usually boys don’t really like big girls, so I worry.
My own mom.
- The Denise Smith
  
  That’s such a shame. I’m a very large girl and though my parents are concerned about my weight, it is because of health. It’s a shame that your sister cannot count on your mom to think she’s beautiful no matter her size. Well, maybe she does, but she worries that others don’t. Good for you for being supportive and loving to your sister. I’m sure that’s one of the many reasons why she loves you.
Lizzie

I don’t really expect philosophy from The Gloss (I usually just click on the articles that look entertaining) but this was definitely smart/thought-provoking.
MR

This is a good article. You know my view on women starving themselves. But for me, the key moment in the film is when Hal sees the kids in the Burn Ward as they actually are. Yeah, he’s not so shallow after all.
Person

What’s also annoying about this phenomenon is, ugly women are expected to be nice. Extra nice. We’re supposed to compensate by going the extra mile (or 10) out of our way for everyone else. We’re supposed to be pleasant doormats, who do just about everything to please everyone. Otherwise, we’re not worthy of being liked — or even being acknowledged.

Why should it be that, if you’re not a supermodel, you’re expected to be everyone else’s happy-to-serve slave?

To be honest, I’m an ugly woman, and I acknowledge that. I also don’t have “inner beauty,” because I don’t go around acting like an enthustastic doormat for everyone to use and abuse. I can’t speak for other ugly women, but I’d rather be alone with dignity than be a popular, hollow laughingstock.
- The Denise Smith
  
  Inner beauty isn’t just about being a doormat. confidence and bearing are also a part of it. I’m a fatty, like a major fatty, but I don’t let people use and abuse me. However, I would like to think that I have inner-beauty because I stand up for what I believe it and, for the most part, I’m a nice person. However, I’m not going to waste my energy on a complete jack-hole. People can mock me and call me names and I’m not just going to take it. I take the famous Dr. Suess quote to heart, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
- Jade
  
  whoever you are, this post made my day, good for you.
Isana Leshchinskaya

my issue with shallow hal is that with the curse, he still is seeing a beautiful woman and that is what he goes after. it’s not like all the gorgeous ladies with rotten personalities in the film have suddenly turned into old ugly hags. he is still superficial. the curse has not made him see only inner beauty. it’s a physical manifestation of goodness that still translates to his eyes as a hot chick.
- http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever
  
  One of the chicks who was “hot” in real life was actually a hag in the movie, but it was only one instance, and she was a really bad person.
- Francesca L. Cimino
  
  not that i think shallow hal is a revolutionary masterpiece, but have you even see it? the point of the curse was that hal was indeed so hopelessly shallow before that he never would have valued inner beauty without being tricked into it; the story would’ve gone nowhere if gwyneth paltrow appeared overweight to him from the start because he never would have approached her. and it’s not like the movie ended with her being magically made thin once he admitted to her that he loved her for her inner beauty, she stays overweight. he would have been shallow if he stayed away from her once he learned the truth.
The Denise Smith

I, myself, am a very large woman (not like 8 feet tall large, but circumference of the earth large). I’d like to think that I have great inner beauty but the fact is, I’ve known a lot of big girls (some of whom were smaller than me yet still considered large) who just plain suck as human beings. I’ve known a lot of sweetheart thin girls. Self-esteem can effect the whole nice-to-people thing but I agree with this article’s assessment 100% because inner beauty has nothing to do with outer beauty.
Christine

I think that it is not just about large women being squeezed into an “inner beauty” stereotype; thin beautiful women are victims as well. The article mentioned that thin beautiful women are, in fact, preconceived as “bitches” and “conceited.” I’d like to add that thin beautiful women are also preconceived to be “dumb” and “easy.”
My point is that all types of women; no matter fat, skinny, ugly, or beautiful…all suffer and are all victims.
Perhaps the best thing is to not care what men think. Heck, some still believe we belong in the kitchen or that we should be submissive. I still hope to see a female president before I die.
However, one thing that I do think women should work on is to work together and not relentlessly judge each other. We are wired to gossip, to vent, and to talk about our feelings about that “skinny bitch at the gym” or that “girl who’s not even that pretty” with our girlfriends. Perhaps if we stop caring about other women’s looks and stop turning it all into a competition, we could all become better. It’s not a beauty contest, after all, and I truly do believe that “women could rule the world if [we] didn’t hate each other so much.”