• Fri, Nov 23 2012

Apparently Emma Stone Has A Sex Tape (Also: Why Do We Still Care About Sex Tapes?)

I admittedly did not see this one coming: Emma Stone reportedly has a sex tape.

According to Radar Online, Stone made a sex tape before she began dating actor Andrew Garfield, so this isn’t a Spider Man fetish production (thank goodness). Their source says that “Emma Stone has a sex tape and that’s a fact.”

“Emma’s really happy with her career and proud of where she is,” the source said. ”There’s no way she would organize the release of the tape; in fact, she would fight to stop it. She has no respect for women like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton who became famous because they released a sex tape.”

So, basically this “source” is attempting to upset Stone’s life, then compliment her and simultaneously shame two other women who… have sex tapes? Because this way, everyone will know about the sex tape which Stone will, uh, never release. Forgive me, dear unnamed source: I am confused.

The source also claims the video is not in Stone’s possession but that the male participant has it–not a great scenario–but that “doesn’t mean there’s any guarantee that it won’t eventually hit the market. The higher Emma’s star rises, the more valuable that tape becomes.” In other words: “If the dude can get a lot of money for it, he’ll sell it, because he’s that kind of asshole.”

Honestly, I kind of hope Emma Stone metaphorically owns this situation (if it’s true, of course). Every time a celebrity denies something scandalous and it’s actually true, the tape always comes out and it’s a big to-do. Publicly acknowledging you may have made a video of the risque nature is the fastest way to curb public appeal. Tabloids are like bullies: if you tell them to stop talking shit and bugging you, even if you tell your teacher on them (i.e. sue), they’ll never leave you alone.

So why do we still care about potential or definite celebrity sex tapes? Has it ever been a question as to whether or not a celebrity is having sex? Or even a question as to whether not most people, famous or not, are having sex? Slut-shaming and scandalizing trivial things like a celebrity–usually a female one–having sex just because there happened to be a camera in the room is ridiculous. Whether or not you’re a talented, intelligent and interesting person has nothing to do with a little red light going on while you happen to be fornicating. If it’s nonconsensual filming, that’s one thing: that’s both illegal and very fucked up, so it would completely make sense to be considered huge news. But if the pair of you just wanted to film your sex life, who’s to stop you?

I think part of the reason people will get all sassy about this is because Stone is a very likable, sweet celebrity and there are a lot of people out there who think likable, sweet women should never have sex, ever, or else all of their likability and sweetness go out the window. After all, having a sex life does make you a damaged harlot.

Photo: Sean Thorton/WENN.com

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  • adamfox

    Great piece. I wonder if it’s because she’s sweet and likable or not. There just seems to be as big of an interest in sex tapes of unlikeable celebs you know?

    Really interesting what you said about how having sex is something most people do so why is this so important to people… I wonder if this IS the reason it’s so interesting to the general public, because it’s something relatable that everyone does. In a messed up way it humanizes people who are made up in magazines to look superhuman. Super beautiful. Super famous. Super successful. With the ultra controlled and censored way that celebs are presented by media… this sort of thing is another chink in that modern celeb culture. Almost every mag on the rack or gossip news story is dedicated to either building up that armor with air-brushed photoshoots and talk of love, or tearing it down with unflattering paparazzi snaps and sex scandal (look what Kristen Stewart just went through). They work in tandem. This is just a big win for those pushing the latter. For general public it’s part of the territory. What we build up, we must knock down. We dream about who we want to be. Then we find ways to identify with them by focusing on their flaws and we are closer to living that fantasy. All nonsense really. As for the flaw, I think the fact that someone she might have loved would betray her trust for money is a big part of the ‘appeal’.

    I also think that Hollywood’s continued idealized portrayals of sex as pure, beautiful and always loving is part of this too. We may watch amateur porn for the real sex that Hollywood ain’t giving us. Amateur porn of a celeb is like the ultimate F-you of Hollywood’s censorship of a deeply relatable and important thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=619460190 Jeff Ting

      You know if people REALLY think about
      it though, She’s not seen as “pure” at all. I mean look at all of
      Emma Stone’s movies. Her break out role was in 2007 in superbad where
      the entire movie was about two teenagers having sex for the first
      time. One of her lines was, and I quote “my brother called me
      heiman untill i was 12, seth i want
      to blow you” thats not
      really a movie kids would see. The fact is if people REALLY think
      about it and not use magazines to live their lives vicariously
      through celebrities, they’d see that she’s just like anyone else. All
      public figures are. They have sex and make stupid decisions all the
      time.

      I
      mean just because is likable that means that they can’t have sex or
      what not? Really now…america is stupid like that sometimes.

  • level_control

    Why do we still care about sex tapes? Well it’s actually quite complicated. You see -

    Emma Stone is hot and we want to see her having sex because thats a turn on.

    ^ confused? Try reading that sentence again, very slowly, Samantha Escobar. I know you may have to look up some of the words but thats okay. If everyone was bright we wouldn’t have anybody to make fun of.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      Thank god for dictionary.com, that was rough.

  • ben enya

    They are coveted, so when the “real deal” can be seen, the idiots go nuts. No pun intended