Loneliness can be terrifying. Without voices to fill the silence, we are alone with our thoughts and that is too much for some people to bear. So, they keep the television on night and day, they turn their radios up to eleven, or they call phone sex lines.
In the sex industry it’s hard to escape loneliness, whether that of others, or your own. Yes, it can be lonely sometimes. It’s hard working a job so few people understand. It’s difficult to live in a world that thinks you’re stupid, a failure, lost, or just easy. There are plenty of people who don’t think any of these things, but that doesn’t mean they understand you or your situation–to be honest, the people who see you as stupid or a failure are more likely to recognize the downsides.
Often, pro-sex work civilians are under the impression that sex work transforms one’s life into a non-stop party. They don’t understand that sex work, like any other job, has its upsides certainly, but also has some significant downsides and it’s difficult to explain how the potential for piles of money relies on the ability to put up with piles of bullshit at least as large as those piles of money. And the personal loneliness that can come with this job is nothing compared to the loneliness you encounter on a daily basis.
I’ve said it numberless times, but I’ll say it again: people don’t just go to sex workers to satisfy their carnal desires with someone who would likely be far out of their league (were money subtracted from the equation); people don’t patronize sex workers as a way of guaranteeing that we will leave when we are no longer wanted (or before!)… people also patronize sex workers because they are simply lonely. As a phone sex operator, I discovered more loneliness than I’ve ever seen in other areas of the sex industry.
