Video: “Baby It’s Consensual Outside” Re-Writes The Christmas Classic To Be Less Rapey

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and wondered how such a creepy, date rapey song got to be a Christmas classic? I mean, the man doesn’t respect the woman’s boundaries at all and she even alludes to roofies at one point, but it was recorded by Bing Crosby so I guess it’s untouchable.

Seriously, these words read like they were written by some horrible men’s rights activist on Reddit who thinks a woman gives up her right to say “no” just by walking in the door (that cock-teasing bitch):

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move a little closer
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out

(The woman and the man trade lines, if that’s not obvious.)

I don’t know about you, but that song hardly gets me in the mood to drink eggnog and bake festive cookies. It does, however, make me want to stock up on pepper spray.

Luckily, a Youtuber named Chase Gregory has fixed the song to make it much more woman-friendly, with lines like: “Maybe just a half a drink more – Only if you’re really quite sure” and “I ought to say no no no, sir – Say it, we’ll end up closer!” Towards the end, he even says “I know it isn’t up to me” and gets her her gloves. It’s almost like he’s taken one of those “Consent Is Sexy” classes they give incoming college freshmen now to teach them how not to rape each other. Now, if only she could go back in time and fix the Ella Fitzgerald version, I could hear that song in taxi cabs and not feel incredibly weirded out.

(Via TheFrisky)


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    • sarahjane


    • JennyWren

      To be fair, the song in it’s original context would not have been about roofies or date rape (the “what’s in this drink?” line was a commonly used joke at the time, indicating said drink was stronger than drinker expected)- it was about the token protests the woman might offer when she really did want to stay the night but didn’t want to admit it (like when people say “I never do this” during a one-night stand). That said, it sure as hell sounds creepy by today’s standards and I much prefer this version :-)

    • kj

      Yeah, when I heard it I just thought it was the lady “protesting” in the manner that would have been expected at the time the song was made.

      • jamiepeck

        But that was a fucked up paradigm that led to men not taking “no” for an answer under the guise of thinking the woman was just being flirty or whatever. (Not to mention, women not being able to say what they really wanted.) And tons of confusion, and almost definitely some sexual assaults. Rape and violation of personal boundaries happened back then, too, they were just more normalized. Of course, people still act like this, but it’s becoming less socially acceptable to do so, and that’s a good thing!

    • Porkchop

      I LOVE Baby it’s Cold Outside! The words are creepy, but in the song, you’re acting, too, when you sing. She wants to stay!

      And the song is a refreshing change from the falling on your knees, born that man no more will die, satan, stone cold tomb, God and sinners, redeeming grace intensity of Christmas songs.

      And Santa Baby. Horror.