• Wed, Nov 28 2012

Nicest Criminal Ever Arrested For Breaking Into People’s Homes And Cleaning Them

 

An Ohio woman has been ordered to do 20 hours of community service after being arrested for the egregious crime of breaking into people’s houses and cleaning them until they shined like new. She also took out their trash for them. How dare she!

Via The Associated Press:

A judge sentenced 53-year-old Susan Warren of Elyria (eh-LEER’-ee-uh) on Monday in Cleveland on her guilty plea to attempted burglary. She also must do 20 hours of community service.

The woman told authorities she was driving by the Westlake house and “wanted something to do.” She broke in, washed some coffee cups, took out the trash, vacuumed and dusted inside the house. Then she left a bill written on a napkin and included her phone number.

Warren says she owns a cleaning business and sometimes enters homes, cleans them and leaves a bill.

She was also sentenced to a year of probation, because clearly, the state must keep an eye on this hardened criminal (nickname: The Cleaning Fairy) to make sure she doesn’t strike again.

Does this sound totally fair and just to you? I guess charging people for services they didn’t ask for was a bit bold of her, but it’s not like she was going around threatening to break people’s kneecaps if they didn’t pay up. It was more like a suggested donation. Personally, I think if I came home to find my squalid sleep cave suddenly spic and span, I’d be so flabbergastedly happy I’d pay the woman, no questions asked. It’s not like I was going to do it myself.

More seriously, this is just one particularly absurd example of how bad this recession has gotten; a kindly 53-year-old woman would rather purchase burglar tools, jimmy a lock, and risk being charged with breaking and entering than go one more day without work. Not exactly Walter White territory, but give her time.

That said, she doesn’t sound too fazed over any of it. The sentence “Warren says she owns a cleaning business and sometimes enters homes, cleans them and leaves a bill” gives off a “sure I do this, what of it?” kind of vibe, no? Cleaning Fairy, I like your cuckoo-lady style.

(Via Salon)

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  • Lo

    Of course it’s fair and just. If I want someone else going through my stuff and rearranging it into an order that pleases them, I’ll seek out a non-crazy person. I don’t care if you sneak in to Bedazzle my toilet; you’re still breaking and entering.

    (Incidentally, if anyone wants to obtain consent to Bedazzle my toilet, call me and we’ll talk prices).

  • http://www.facebook.com/tifatheteddy Tiffany Bigger

    Wow. I hope I don’t turn into this lady at 53 cause I have seriously wanted to scrub down some of my friends houses till you could see yourself in the reflections of the walls. lol You go cleaning fairy. Making the world a cleaner place one messy house at a time. She should get her own tv show. Clean house for the unsuspecting houseowner. It would be a hit trust me!

    • http://www.facebook.com/barbara.ryan.3323 Barbara Ryan

      Could I be on the first show? I promise to be surprised.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dean.vaughn Dean Vaughn

    So for community service she is going to have to clean houses… Ironic, isn’t it? :)

    • fred

      Whose house? The mayor’s, maybe? Who gets free housecleaning out of this?

  • Neet

    Omg, please come to my house!

  • Fred

    That’s not attempted burglary. Burglary requires intent to steal, and she didn’t have that. I wonder what the prosecutor threatened her with, to get her to plead guilty. Why wasn’t she charged with breaking and entering, or trespassing?

  • jena

    come do my house any time…..i need organization too…..