• Fri, Nov 30 2012

Tampon Jesus Can Be Found At The Tampon Menorah When He’s Not With His Tampon Mom In His Tampon Cradle

PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE NATIVITY. THERE ARE TAMPONS IN THE BATHROOM FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.

For those who love to celebrate the concept of shoving a chunk of cotton up your vagina during menstruation, and think everything and anything even remotely DIY is the bees’ knees, your dreams have just come true. Your worlds, your love for these two things have clashed violently and perfectly; melted into a pot of answered prayers and made everything right in the world. EVERYTHING.

Why should a tampon just be a plug to stop bleeding? Why can’t it be much more? Granted, tampons probably wouldn’t win if they ran for president or any such nonsense but, as you can see above, they do make a fine holiday decoration.

The Tampon Nativity is the gift that keeps giving and is not the type of thing you’d even want to take down long after December has passed. As Tampon Crafts (For anytime of the month) explains:

Remember the true meaning of Christmas by displaying this colorful tampon nativity scene. Gather ’round the manger for the Christmas Miracle. These three kings come bearing gold, frankincense, and…fresh-scented feminine hygiene products.

Fresh-scented feminine hygiene products? Well then! What follows next on the site is a “how-to” in creating such a crafty good time. But wait! Before the Jewish folks start feeling left out there’s the Tampon Menorah!

“Hanukkah – festival of lights, now the festival of feminine hygiene. Pull up on the ‘wicks’ to light these menorah candles.”

You like?

How do you feel about this? Conflicted? Excited? Maybe both? Or maybe you’re not religious and you’re feeling let out now, too? Well, calm yourself! Tampon Crafts are all inclusive, and with step-by-step instructions for all these, ahem, interesting projects and so many more, it’s fun for the whole family! It’s kind of like LEGOs, but way better. You can’t take apart a LEGO town in an emergency and hope a piece of it will absorb blood, can you? No. So, really what any good is a damn box of LEGOs?

Back to being all-inclusive, here’s something you can whip up for the favorite fella in your life this holiday season: Tampon Shooter.

And your holiday shopping just became so much easier knowing that this exists. Tampon Shooters for all!

Now don’t you feel foolish for thinking tampons were good for only one thing? And aren’t you just thrilled that this post has inspired a Friday evening of tampon DIY fun? I know I am.

 

Via HuffPo

Photo: Tampon Crafts

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  • Samantha_Escobar

    This explains the text message you sent to me last night SO MUCH.

    • Amanda Chatel

      This is also what you’re getting for Christmas this year…

  • Sean

    As amused as I am by all of this, the tampon shooter instructions forgot to mention the most important detail of all: if they’re not your tampons, remember to ask before you use them all to make *anything*.

    If one day I took all my partner’s tampons without her approval for DIY projects, I don’t think I’d survive to see the day after that.

    • Amanda Chatel

      But if you made her an angel with those tampons and said it was in her likeness, you might not only survive, but she may even love you more!

    • Sean

      “Here sweetheart, here’s an angel I made. It looks like you!”

      “I look like a tampon?”

      “…err, yes?”

  • jamiepeck

    I have already done them one better by constructing a tampon chandelier. (RIP, tampon chandelier.) http://instagram.com/p/RO5Y-tvOTg/

    • Amanda Chatel

      Of course you did! And yours is better.