New DASH Diet Promises To Have You Drop A Dress Size By Christmas, Sounds Obvious

DASH diet

But what if I want to drop a dress size by Chanukah!?

I don’t know if the DASH diet can help me. Although it basically says “try to eat some vegetables, and other good-for-you stuff.” The Daily Mail reports:

Phase One of the DASH diet (the initial two weeks of the programme that we will be outlining here) is a low-carbohydrate transition period designed to reset your metabolism.

This protein-rich eating plan — which cuts out fruit and wholegrains for 14 days — will keep you feeling satisfied for longer and, because it’s low in carbs and sugars, also helps trigger fast, immediately visible weight loss.

Phase Two then reintroduces wholegrains, fruit and starchy vegetables in order to maintain and continue your weight loss, as well as improve cholesterol and blood sugar levels.

So, basically, the diet entails eating lean protein and lots of vegetables for two weeks. So it is a diet called “common sense.”

Here is more of the common sense plan:

For the next 14 days, include moderate-sized servings of these three food groups in every main meal (ie. breakfast, lunch and dinner). As a guide, a portion of meat, fish and poultry should be the size of your palm. A handful of beans, nuts, lentils and soy foods is about right. A portion of cheese should be the size of a small matchbox.

1. Foods that are protein-rich and low in saturated fat. These include:

  • Lean meats
  • Fish and poultry
  • Beans and lentils
  • Soy foods
  • Low-fat cheeses
  • Eggs 
  • Unsweetened or artificially sweetened yogurt (one small pot per day)…

As much sugar-free, fruit-flavoured jelly as you want — this will become your fruit and dessert substitute. All vegetables, with the exception of starchy vegetables such as potatoes and corn, are also unlimited.

Avoid…Starchy foods (other than beans). This means no: bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, all foods fried in batter, sugary foods (which includes fruit, fresh, frozen, dried or tinned), alcohol, caffeinated beverages, milk. 

I will say the stuff about the jelly sounds weird, but really I think this diet is just called “eating the way most people generally attempt to eat when trying to lose weight.”

I am going to take this entire diet and add some weird gimmick like “do it all while pretending to be a skinny clown” and I am going to make a fortune.

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    • hmhque

      personally I would omit the artificially sweetened stuff altogether and go low sugar. I would also avoid low fat and just eat full fat. Then you are talking a high impact diet (yes with high fat).

    • CMJ

      Soooo, the South Beach Diet?

    • Diane

      The DASH diet has been around for a while and is a way for overweight patients to lower hypertension. Its not a fad diet, it’s something doctors have been telling patients to follow for a while. I would avoid the daily mail as a primary source for any of your stories, because they really are a waste of space.

    • Thaumata

      I wish you’d stop reporting from that horrible publication. The Mail is more like The Enquirer than a real paper. I won’t be shocked when they print Bat Boy on the cover, and neither should you. Anyway, in the UK, ‘jelly’ is short for gelatin. They aren’t telling you to put a spoon in your Welch’s and have at it. They mean Jell-O.

    • fcbsglobal

      it will help…

    • MR

      Post a picture of yourself, tomorrow, in a dress. And I’ll once again tell you, you don’t need to lose a dress size.