Hannah after discovering she has HPV:
"Sorry I passed you an STD, but I really enjoy your quirky web presence."
Hannah to her parents in episode one -- it pretty much sets up the rest of the season:
"I don't want to freak you out, but I think I may be the voice of my generation. Well at least the voice of a generation."
Hannah after discovering she has HPV:
"Sorry I passed you an STD, but I really enjoy your quirky web presence."
Shoshanna to Hannah in regards to Jessa's explanation for her own HPV:
"All adventurous women do."
Side note: Roughly 20 million Americans have HPV. So get tested. Thanks, ladies.
Hannah:
"Last time I got drunk I ate all this Brie and threw up on my cell phone."
Shosh to Jessa:
"You're so hip, I could puke. I can never pull off a hat, how do you pull off a hat? Your skin is, like, hauntingly beautiful."
Hannah to herself in the mirror (read: what all New Yorkers tell themselves so we can sleep at night):
"You're from New York, therefore you are just naturally interesting."
Shosh during her attempt to get rid of her virginity:
"You know, it's, like, amazing. I'm totally not an attached bleeder."
Hannah to her touchy-feely boss:
"I just tried to fuck you, sue you, and extort you. I'm fucking nuts! Why would you want me in your office?"
Jessa to hipsters at the infamous Bushwick party:
"It means I don't think you're cool and your mother was poor!"
Cracked out Shosh to the ladies at that same party in Bushwick:
"I’m so happy to see you, I could murder you."
No one who's ever been to Bushwick found Marnie being there in the first place believable:
"I'm NEVER coming back to Bushwick again! Ever!”
What we've all thought but Hannah was the first to actually say out loud:
"I was wondering about the stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms?"
That moment when we all learned to love Jorma Taccone more than we already did thanks to his role as Booth Jonathan:
“I want you to know, the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little, because I’m a man, and I know how to do things.”
Adam may treat her heart like "monkey meat," but that doesn't stop her from going back for more -- no matter how loud we yelled at the TV during this scene:
"I don’t even want a boyfriend. I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks I’m the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me.
And it makes me feel very stupid to tell you this because it makes me sound like a girl, who wants to like go to brunch and I really don’t want to go to brunch, and I don’t want you to like sit on the couch while I shop, or like even meet my friends. I don’t even want that, okay?
And I don’t really see you hearing me, and I don’t really see you changing, so… I just summed it up. And I’m sorry that I didn’t figure it out sooner and you must think I’m even stupider than you thought already, but consider it a testament to your charms. Because you might not know this, but you are very, very charming. And I really care about you. And I don’t want to anymore because it feels too shitty for me. So I’m gonna leave."
Shoshanna to Jessa who -- gasp! -- has never seen SATC:
"I think I'm definitely a Carrie at heart, but sometimes... sometimes Samantha kind of comes out. And then, when I'm at school, I definitely try to put on my Miranda hat."
