• Thu, Dec 6 2012

Men In China Enjoy Masturbation Competition (While The Women Just Smack Their Own Legs With Dildos)

GASP! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN’T PLAY, TOO?

Here at TheGloss, we have long advocated for not only self-love, but the openness to talk about it. You know, because we all do it, and probably a lot, too. What do you think we do in between posts? OK. Obviously, I’m not speaking for everyone, but I am talking about the freelancers who work from home. If I do it, I know Sam and Jamie must, too. Point? Masturbation is awesome.

This past World AIDS Day, December 1st, the first ever (apparently, these people have never been to a proper sex party in New York City) jack-off competition took place in Shenzhen, China. The event was sponsored by the sex toy company Aihuirun.com and was meant to embrace sexual freedom and show that the safest sex — in regards to avoiding getting any STDs, AIDS in particular — is to touch yourself. Obviously, this means the best way to make this statement is with a public competition that involves men in masks, blow-up dolls and women manhandling dildos as if they’ve never seen them before in their life.

As the men got their rocks off, the two women were cast off to the side to play sword fights with the aforementioned dildos, and even at one point, one of the ladies took to smacking her boot with the the pink rubbery thing. Why? I don’t know. I can think of a 100 other things she could have done with it.

As our friends at Jezebel mentioned, the whole damn thing is not only weird but sexist. As a woman, I can’t compete in your masturbation competition? That’s not only unfair, but uncool. I’d totally kick your ass — was that the concern? That that one of the ladies would walk away with the trophy or whatever the winnings were? Yes, that’s it! The fear of losing to a lady! That must be it, because it couldn’t possibly be about sexism, especially by a sex toy company that makes toys for women, right?

Yeah, right.

Watch this video, and if any of you can read Chinese, please translate. It’s just all so bizarre.

Photo: PopCracker

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  • Lo

    I was expecting bizarre, but I was not expecting bizarre set to brass band music. This would make the Changing of the Guard infinitely better.

  • Samantha_Escobar

    She’s right. I do it in between posts. Oh god.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kemp.ashby Kemp Ashby

    Why can’t women compete? Because its (usually, unless they squirt ;)) much harder to confirm if they have actually had an orgasm…