The first time I ever saw Gabriel Iglesias’ standup comedy, I loved it. Not just because of the brilliant addressing of the differences between Anglo-American culture and Mexican-American culture. Not just because he lovingly mocks Disneyland almost as much as I do.
It’s because he had done what I always thought was impossible: talking honestly about, and finding humor in, being an overweight man.
I tend to go for larger men, and I have for most of my adult life. I have no idea why — my dad was a fairly lean guy who regularly ran marathons. A great deal of my relatives are overweight, and it negatively affects their health. I’m paranoid about gaining any weight at all. But regardless of all this, I’m still a “chaser.”
I’ve tried to break it down scientifically: Do bigger men appeal to me because it signals that they can “find resources” in the big scary world? Does it signal that they could take care of me should I myself run out of resources? Maybe it’s a primal golddigger desire — I could steal their resources and they’d be too out of shape to properly chase me and take their meat and bone club back. Maybe.
But after a lot of thinking, I’ve come up with four reasons why it’s cool to date bigger guys. I know that you can’t force someone to have a sexual attraction to someone else. I also don’t want to exclude skinny guys on the sexiness scale (I have certainly had my share of bony lads). And for the love of God, I get that my attraction is pretty rare for an American woman to have.
But I don’t care. Here’s why I’m a “fluffy fan”:
1. Bigger guys tend to dress better.
I have to reveal something about myself here: I have rather large breasts. 38D, to be exact. This automatically implies a few things about my wardrobe choices: that I should always do a bra check before leaving the store with a new shirt, that a good strapless bra is indeed worth the money, or the fact that I cannot cannot cannot wear thickly knit sweaters.
Bigger guys seem to understand the concept of having fashion and beauty “rules” more than most men, and it’s refreshing. If you live in a world that doesn’t always know how to dress you, it makes sense that you would try to find what works for you and stick with it. Gabriel Iglesias has become famous for his past-the-waistline, straight-cut Hawaiian shirts. And he should be. They’re flattering on him!
2. They tend to be more comfortable in their own skin.
This goes right in hand with dressing better, and is probably the sexiest thing about any non-supermodel-type guys. Because it doesn’t matter if a guy’s big, small, tall, short, in a wheelchair or heavily tattooed — if he can work what he’s got, he instantly sexy. It’s the appeal of a guy wearing a tailored suit: He’s owning the body he comes in, whether people are into it or not. Because they’re not usually portrayed as objects of desire in the media, overweight men have a different relationship with their bodies than thin or average-sized men. And it often leads to them being more confident in themselves.
In the duration of our relationship, I’ve called my somewhat-fluffy boyfriend “fatty,” “squishy,” and even my “chubby hubby.” I make fun of his man-boobs, and the part of his stomach that hangs over his pants (I refer to it, quite lovingly, as his muffin). You know how he responds? He laughs. He’s so at ease in his own body that me joking about it doesn’t even bother him. It’s never been a problem. And it’s extremely attractive.
Plus he knows that he can just hug me from behind and say in a teasing voice, “But you liiiiiiiiiiike my tummy,” and I collapse into an aroused heap.
3. They can make fun of themselves.
This is the biggest determining factor as to whether or not a bigger guy (or any guy, really) is worth your time. It doesn’t need to be said that being overweight can cause someone a lot of pain growing up. You can be mocked on all sides, from many different sources.
That’s why it’s so amazing when someone who is overweight not only got through periods of teasing, but ends up embracing their physical state. Gabriel Iglesias has made his fortune by coming up with the “5 Levels of Fatness,” and forever burning the image of cramped VW Beetles into people’s heads. There’s no avoiding the fact that Gabriel’s a big guy. So why not make it a selling point?
Finally, the most obvious reason to date a fluffy dude:
What would you rather receive a hug from: A giant teddy bear or the Wicker Man? I rest my case.