Confessions Of A Chubby Chaser: 4 Reasons Why I Go For Bigger Guys

The first time I ever saw Gabriel Iglesiasstandup comedy, I loved it. Not just because of the brilliant addressing of the differences between Anglo-American culture and Mexican-American culture. Not just because he lovingly mocks Disneyland almost as much as I do.

It’s because he had done what I always thought was impossible: talking honestly about, and finding humor in, being an overweight man.

I tend to go for larger men, and I have for most of my adult life. I have no idea why — my dad was a fairly lean guy who regularly ran marathons. A great deal of my relatives are overweight, and it negatively affects their health. I’m paranoid about gaining any weight at all. But regardless of all this, I’m still a “chaser.”

I’ve tried to break it down scientifically: Do bigger men appeal to me because it signals that they can “find resources” in the big scary world? Does it signal that they could take care of me should I myself run out of resources? Maybe it’s a primal golddigger desire — I could steal their resources and they’d be too out of shape to properly chase me and take their meat and bone club back. Maybe.

But after a lot of thinking, I’ve come up with four reasons why it’s cool to date bigger guys. I know that you can’t force someone to have a sexual attraction to someone else. I also don’t want to exclude skinny guys on the sexiness scale (I have certainly had my share of bony lads). And for the love of God, I get that my attraction is pretty rare for an American woman to have.

But I don’t care. Here’s why I’m a “fluffy fan”:

1. Bigger guys tend to dress better.

I have to reveal something about myself here: I have rather large breasts. 38D, to be exact. This automatically implies a few things about my wardrobe choices: that I should always do a bra check before leaving the store with a new shirt, that a good strapless bra is indeed worth the money, or the fact that I cannot cannot cannot wear thickly knit sweaters.

Bigger guys seem to understand the concept of having fashion and beauty “rules” more than most men, and it’s refreshing. If you live in a world that doesn’t always know how to dress you, it makes sense that you would try to find what works for you and stick with it. Gabriel Iglesias has become famous for his past-the-waistline, straight-cut Hawaiian shirts. And he should be. They’re flattering on him!

2. They tend to be more comfortable in their own skin.

This goes right in hand with dressing better, and is probably the sexiest thing about any non-supermodel-type guys. Because it doesn’t matter if a guy’s big, small, tall, short, in a wheelchair or heavily tattooed — if he can work what he’s got, he instantly sexy. It’s the appeal of a guy wearing a tailored suit: He’s owning the body he comes in, whether people are into it or not. Because they’re not usually portrayed as objects of desire in the media, overweight men have a different relationship with their bodies than thin or average-sized men. And it often leads to them being more confident in themselves.

In the duration of our relationship, I’ve called my somewhat-fluffy boyfriend “fatty,” “squishy,” and even my “chubby hubby.” I make fun of his man-boobs, and the part of his stomach that hangs over his pants (I refer to it, quite lovingly, as his muffin). You know how he responds? He laughs. He’s so at ease in his own body that me joking about it doesn’t even bother him. It’s never been a problem. And it’s extremely attractive.

Plus he knows that he can just hug me from behind and say in a teasing voice, “But you liiiiiiiiiiike my tummy,” and I collapse into an aroused heap.

3. They can make fun of themselves.

This is the biggest determining factor as to whether or not a bigger guy (or any guy, really) is worth your time. It doesn’t need to be said that being overweight can cause someone a lot of pain growing up. You can be mocked on all sides, from many different sources.

That’s why it’s so amazing when someone who is overweight not only got through periods of teasing, but ends up embracing their physical state. Gabriel Iglesias has made his fortune by coming up with the “5 Levels of Fatness,”  and forever burning the image of cramped VW Beetles  into people’s heads. There’s no avoiding the fact that Gabriel’s a big guy. So why not make it a selling point?

Finally, the most obvious reason to date a fluffy dude:

4. Snuuuuuuggles.

What would you rather receive a hug from: A giant teddy bear or the Wicker Man? I rest my case.

This all probably sounds silly to some people. Why would I ever need to justify why I’m attracted to someone? Why not just be and live and love? Because men’s fitness is just as sexualized as women’s thinness, and frankly I’m sick of it. I don’t want a perfect-looking person as my mate, even though I think my boyfriend’s wonderful just the way he is. For all the screaming women do (with good reason!) about the media shouldn’t hold us to an impossible standard of beauty, I’ve barely heard anything of the sort regarding expectations for men. And I think that should change. If anyone is going to ever be “allowed” to be imperfect, the screaming (and love) needs to come on the behalf of everyone.
And in any case, the day I’m with a guy who can’t eat a piece and say, “DANG, that’s good cake!” is the day I know in I’m in the wrong relationship. Because I like cake, dang it.
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    • Jessie

      I am 3000% on board with you. I think I also like feeling dainty. I have been my adult height, a towering 5’8 since I was in fifth grade. I was the Godzilla of 10 year olds. I think that made me very conscious of how big I am in comparison to others. Also – I like to know that should there be an emergency and we need to quickly evacuate or fight off a mob/zombies my manfriend can throw me over their shoulder and make a getaway without snapping in half. So, resources?

    • Camzarcar

      The two reasons as to why you like fat men:
      1. You can make yourself feel better about the diet you choose, and the weight you may put on, and
      2. So you can make fun of him

      the 2nd one is just human nature to make fun of anyone, and even though fat people may laugh about it, I bet you most of them wouldn’t like to be fat.

      • Samantha_Escobar

        “I bet you most of them wouldn’t like to be fat.” That sounds presumptuous; who are you to assume what other people’s self images are?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004531867493 Kathy Johnson

        Wow – what a negative outlook you have. Big guys are sexy. They are the only guys who catch my eye. I know plenty of guys who say they only date blondes, or Asians, or big breasted women. We all have something that we find visually appealing. For me (and I’m sure a minority of other women out there) it’s big men.

      • Fintan

        Hi Kathy,

        I’m currently researching a TV programme on women who prefare bigger men. It would be great to have a chat. If you are interested in talking to me please contact me directly on fintan.maguire@crackitproductions.co.uk

        Many thanks,
        Fintan

      • Sonni

        While i respect your opinions . I have to say that you are so wrong. i eat healthy and work out and i would never make fun of anyone especially someone i care about. as a matter of fact, my bf doesn’t even know that I have a preference for bigger men . i haven’t told him because i don’t want him to think that I am only interested in his size.

    • lucygoosey74

      I also am attracted to bigger men, I even married one. However, maybe I’m being overly sensitive but I do not like the term “chubby chaser”.

      • Brit McGinnis

        Hey, it’s cool! :) I sometimes cringe upon hearing it myself, but I’m trying to get more and more comfortable with it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004531867493 Kathy Johnson

        I use the term jokingly to describe myself sometimes, but I don’t care for it either. Come join me at: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ChubbyMenAreSexy/

    • eew

      ew

    • kj

      I lurve me some skinny menz (and I am not a skinny girl, I promise you.) I have no idea how I would justify that in terms of evolutionary psych. What is my point? Firstly, that there is lots of diversity of taste in people/menz, which is awesome, and secondly, that despite my enjoying the skinny menz, Gabriel Iglesias seems pretty hot despite my preference. His confidence and humour are pretty fucking sexy. Woo!

    • Michele

      You make the same generalizations that men who “chase” obese women do. Fat guys dress better? No. Fat guys wear baggy jeans slung under their guts, which usually peek out under a baggy t-shirt in the front, and expose butt crack in the back. More comfortable in their own skin? No. How’bout they really don’t care about their appearance and they’ve given up on taking care of themselves? Being significantly overweight is an obvious sign of LACKING SELF-RESPECT. A sense of humor? Oh, the funny fat guy! No stereotyping there…and “snuuugggles”? Get a dog. You obviously have a superiority complex you like to play out on guys who are so astonished that someone’s interested in them they’ll become your puppet. I’m an athlete and my man better be one (and look like one) too.

      • http://www.facebook.com/phil.bowermaster Phil Bowermaster

        Astounding that you can go from calling the author out for making generalizations in your first line to the hateful stereotypes that populate the rest of your comment.

      • Sonni

        Superiority complex ? Noooo ! I happen to be very submissive in relationships. Plus I truly adore his body every inch of . Forgive me if I am offensive but to put it mildly, I have kissed every inch and every roll on my chubby man’s body. I don’t do it to feel superior because i am really worshiping his beautiful body. I do it because I want to please him and find his larger body to be super sexier. Before you assume i must be ugly, I can assure that I am not. I can have a skinny man , I just love a massive body for some reason.

    • Naomi

      Isn’t it awesome how we can string men up for having a strong preference for one body type or another and yell “objectification” and then turn around and do the same thing like it’s totally cool and adorable?

    • pabarge

      Not buying it. I think it has everything to do with this:

      http://0.static.wix.com/media/437c93_0cea30011ea2c8aa9fad48e45976ae6b.jpg_1024

      • DrSloan

        I think she’s cute.

      • Brit McGinnis

        News flash, buddy: Size 8 is not fat. 38D is sexy. And I’ve modeled nude numerous times. Including as a dominatrix.
        Next time, do more thorough research,

      • Locutus

        She is very hot and sexy. Too bad she is too young and plays for the other team. Very sexy young woman!

      • Locutus

        She is very hot and sexy. Too bad she is too young and plays for the other team. Very sexy young woman!

    • Blah<3

      Kinda the opposite of this article, I have a thing for super skinny guys. I mean, seriously, with like stick arms. My boyfriend is an excellent example of this. It all boils down to what’s attractive to who, and if you like chubby guys, you shouldn’t have to justify it! :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/chasrmartin Charlie Martin

      Uh, can I give you my number?

      • Ronin

        C’mon man, you’re doing great! (Yes, I’m following your articles. I lost 90lbs. over a year doing the same thing.)

      • http://www.facebook.com/chasrmartin Charlie Martin

        Wow. I’m actually astounded to have the connection made off PJ/FB

      • Bill Gryan

        We all get here via Glenn. Keep up the good work on the diet. And good luck reaching your 38D dreamboat.

    • http://thevailspot.blogspot.com/ Rich Vail

      This is about the analog of “Big girls need love too.” Nothing wrong with it at all. Personally, I prefer a woman with curves, not obese, mind you, but voluptuous…for many of the same reasons the OP does.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004531867493 Kathy Johnson

      Brit you need to visit my page: http://www.facebook.com/ChubbyMenAreSexy

      and then join my group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ChubbyMenAreSexy/

      I love to meet like minded women!

    • lila

      I really dislike this part of your post “I’ve called my somewhat-fluffy
      boyfriend “fatty,” “squishy,” and even my “chubby hubby.” I make fun of
      his man-boobs, and the part of his stomach that hangs over his pants (I
      refer to it, quite lovingly, as his muffin). You know how he responds?
      He laughs.”

      Those of us who are overweight have been laughing these things off for our whole lives. It doesn’t mean we actually find it funny. My boyfriend is a big guy (I myself am not small), and when I tease him (because teasing is fun) it is never about how much fat is on his body. The only time I ever mention his body is to compliment how sexy it is.

    • Sonni

      I am with you girl ! I am about 5″6 , with a curvy 175 lb frame. I eat healthy , only poultry and fish plus tons of veggies! I work out too but I love me a chubby man. I don’t know why, they just make me crazy. after i divorced my first hubby of 16 years. Who was 5″9 and over 350 lbs. i began to miss his massive body immediately but I tried to ignore it, I remember how i used to used burying my face in between his man boobs when we were in bed i used to drool at the sight of his huge manly thighs.. the sex was always amazing too. i tried dating skinny men but for some reason they just don’t turn me on they way big guys do. After dating some skinny guys and some fit guys. i had to go out and find me a chubby hubby. I am dating a guy whose 6’4 and weighs about 370lbs + he couldn’t be any sexier if he tried. Just touching his man boobs and massive fluffy stomach drives me crazy ! Cuddling in his huge meaty arms, snuggling up into his rolls and being surround by his bear hugs is just pure heaven to me It’s like dating like a giant.