• Mon, Dec 10 - 12:21 pm ET

Very Specific Things Your Favorite Fruit Or Vegetable Says About You

favorite vegetables

Congratulations on eating fruits and vegetables sometimes, it’s going to stop your hair from all falling out. You’re making good choices. But what do your choices say about you? I know we covered this to some extent (strawberries: hopeless romantics. Acai: people who love LA. Tomatoes: people who enjoy Julia Child, Cauliflower: lobotomy patients) but let’s go deeper on this.

Who are banana people?

All pictures via Wikimedia Commons


Banana people

People who love talking about running marathons

prune

You can poo in the shape of a heart, or would be interested in learning.

oranges

You're very heteronormative. Some people say that like it's a bad thing, but not me!

carrots

Your sexual preferences are absolutely perverse. Tell us about them in the comments.

lettuce

Your favorite childhood story was about a rabbit.

peppers

You love to dance, and you can do that thing where you sweep your arms through the air while dancing.

peas

You just want to have children.

grapes

You were a classics major. Have you read The Secret History? You'd like it.

grapefruit

You're a pretty heavy drinker. It's fine, it's fine, just don't drive. Your favorite meal is brunch.

Apples

You remember your childhood with more longing than most people.
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  • Cee

    Where are the mangos? Mangoes? Though I must say mangoes in the east coast never seem to be ripe

    • alexandra

      True story: I used to love mangoes, but now I avoid them because they could send my boyfriend into anaphylactic shock.

      …damn it, what does that say about my personality?

    • Cee

      That youre a better person than I am

  • Amanda

    Where is the broccoli? I could eat broccoli forever.

  • Olivier

    THIS LIST NEEDS TO GO ON