Kate Middleton is pregnant! Yesterday brought news that she is absolutely positively without a doubt having a girl (according to the psychic doctors at The Daily Mail), which led editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff to discuss their gender preferences for future progeny.
Jennifer: Do you want a boy or a girl? Don’t say you want something healthy. Take it as a given that your baby is going to be a mutant who shoots lasers out of its eyeballs. So, very healthy.
Ashley: Actually, Cyclops was the least robust mutant.
Jennifer: He was kind of feeble, but I liked him. I wish I could give birth to an X-Men, but the odds seem in favor of my ultimately giving birth to either a male or female human child (Though I already have them wait-listed at Hogwarts, so that will help).
Ashley: I didn’t know made-up wizard schools had dynastic admissions policies.
Jennifer: I donated a wing for actual English lit studies so those kids are going to know how to read in addition to studying ghost habits and tea leaves and whatever.
Ashley: Wait, no one actually learns non-wizarding at Hogwarts? Like English or math? Isn’t that negligence…?