• Tue, Dec 11 - 11:51 am ET

“I’d Rather Have A Girl Than A Boy”

Would you rather have a boy or a girl? A debate.

“Breastfeed this!”

Ashley:  I guess they have wands and shit, which is like investing in one’s future.

Jennifer:  They’re probably not going to make it through life without knowing how to write an essay with an “umbrella sentence” on The Great Gatsby, though. 14 times that’s saved me from getting hit by cars, so far. And wow, does it ever impress interviewers! So. Boy or girl?

Ashley:  Shit.

Jennifer:  Girl. THERE I SAID IT. GIRL. GIRL CHILD.

Ashley:  You sexist monster. I think I want a boy.

Jennifer:  Why?

Ashley:  I guess because there’s a certain curiosity there, like wanting to observe what it’s like to be a boy growing up.

Jennifer:  Oh, see, I feel like I really like the rituals often associated with girlhood. You’re afraid to say anything because this is going to be really heteronormative, aren’t you?

Ashley:  I think you’re projecting, buddy.

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  • alexandra
  • Maggie

    Actually, in the Harry Potter series, they don’t start at Hogwarts until they’re 11, and kids who are muggle-born (that means non-magical, Ashley) like Harry and Hermione went to proper elementary school until they were 11, so they must’ve been at least somewhat educated in English and Math. I assume wizard parents home schooled too?

    I just thought I would be really nerdy and clear that up :)

    • Annie

      I’m still not sure completely stopping a kid’s education, apart from wizardry, at 11(!) is a great idea… Then you’re left with a bunch of volatile, temperamental, and practically illiterate kids with insane amounts of power. That just seems like a combustible situation!
      Harry Potter; saves the world, doesn’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re.

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      Right, yes, that is not enough reading and writing education. Look at what you were writing when you were 11.

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      People don’t spend enough time talking about what a hero Rita Skeeter was.

    • alexandra

      She must have been quite the autodidact. Studying out of vintage journalism textbooks and obsessively scanning the Daily Mail!

    • Amanda

      But Rita Skeeter had a magical quill that wrote down everything for her. She didn’t actually write anything.

    • HM

      What about Umbridge? I mean, what better way to learn spelling and grammar than repeatedly engraving the words into your own flesh?

  • HM

    See, given that the overall experience at Hogwarts seems to be ‘So! Here is how to really hurt people by pointing a glorified twig at them! Also, 25% of pupils are probably serial killers! Have fun, kids!”.

    But really though, whatever you have, just hope it’s a Slytherin.

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      He’s going to have nothing but snakes as pets, and I’m going to tell him to talk to them until they talk back. We’re going to train him early.

  • MR

    Well my mom and gramps (her dad) had a very special relationship. And based on what I saw when he was alive, I’d say there is not much more a dad can ask for than a loving daughter (my mom’s the only child). So my choice is definately girl.

  • Amanda

    I really can’t wait until you get The Gloss youtube channel up and running so we can watch these debates. They are pretty much my favorite thing on this site, along with Shelved Dolls.