Jennifer:Â Â That is why, from his 13th year on, all our family dinners will be held blindfolded and in silence.
Ashley:Â Â Silent but for a faint smacking noise that forever haunts your heteronormativeÂ existence.
Jennifer:Â Â UGH I KNEW HARROW WOULD DO THIS TO HIM.
Ashley:Â Â I think the point we’re driving at here–besides the fact that shit gets real real at English boarding schools–is that, as a prospective parent, it’s kind of shallow to have a gender preference for your kid. But everyone does, except sanctimonious assholes who use that “I don’t care as long as it’s healthy line.”
Jennifer:Â Â Shit gets SO REAL there. You picked a boy. Why? So his shit can get really real?
Ashley:Â Â I don’t know why, honestly. Anytime I actually try and parse our those preferences, I realize they don’t make sense.
Jennifer:Â Â Oh, sure you know why, you just don’t want to say it. Because society demands we only want something healthy. And really, isn’t that kind of bullshit for all the sick kids out there? It’s like saying “sorry, cancer baby, you were not what was desired.”