• Wed, Dec 12 2012

Crystal Harris’ Engagement Ring From Hugh Hefner Is As One Might Expect: Enormous

It’s engagement o’clock in Bunnyland: Hugh Hefner announced on his Twitter that he has given Crystal Harris a ring for wedding commitment numero dos. Harris — who now goes by Crystal Hefner via Twitter — posted a photo of the brand new rock. As one might suspect, the ring is a big fucking diamond:

Crystal Harris engagement ring

Hef tweeted, “I’ve given Crystal Harris a ring. I love the girl.” Aw, well isn’t that adorable? According to People, the pair is planning to marry one another on New Year’s Eve at — where else? — the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles.

Personally, I hate diamonds. My animosity for the little rocks is not just because of their typically terrible obtainment, but also because I find them a bit boring. I mean, yes, it’s impressive in a strange way when you consider the cost and precision that goes into a stone of this preciousness and magnitude, but once you get past that aspect, I also just think they’re kind of lifeless. Oh, sparkly! I think I’d rather wear engagement chicken on my finger than have to worry about every single chiffon garment I wear catching on my ridiculously huge ring, but to each her own.

Amid all this bizarre engagement bliss, I can’t help but wonder if Harris would be keeping the ring once again if she were to call of the wedding once more. I wish I could say I’d be as generous as Hef and let her keep it like last time (after all, the man could chop and toast hundred dollar bills and eat them as cereal with liquid gold for the milk if he wanted to). Instead, I’m pretty sure I would take back the ring on principal alone. Then I would give it to the next person wearing a nice hat, just because. And Instagram the whole thing.

Photo: Crystal Harris

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  • Lo

    Much as I love photos of comically huge engagement rings, I’m with you on the diamond-disliking. Diamonds are samey. Colours ftw. The engagement chicken is also acceptable.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      I love colors! My mom has a leaf-engraved silver band as her wedding ring (which may explain my taste for plainer jewelry) but she also has a star sapphire as an engagement ring and I LOVE it. Any colored stone is just so much more interesting than something that’s supposed to be as clear and boring as possible.

      And engagement chicken is always acceptable…it’s how you know you won’t be ~*alone forever*~

  • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

    I’ll go one further and admit I flatout don’t like jewelry.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      I lose every piece of jewelry I own if I wear it (and sometimes, even when I don’t), which is why I never buy any over $15, so I think there are 43094 gifts I’d rather receive than a really expensive ring I might, uh, totally lose.