• Wed, Dec 12 2012

Poll: What’s The Most Vengeful Thing You’d Do To A Partner Who Cheated?

Natalie Portman - Closer - Revenge For Cheating

When you have had your heart broken by way of an infidelious partner, it is extremely difficult to come to terms with what to do next. Sometimes, revenge for cheating is the only way many people are able to feel as though the issue has been resolved.

One woman in Brazil made headlines this week for taking a hammer to her husband’s car. Why? He reportedly cheated on her, and she did not respond well to the news. While being cheered on and whistled at by onlookers to the tirade, she smashed across his entire windshield.

Being vindictive has been the subject of numerous films, some good and some not so good. One thing is clear: it’s difficult to be sympathetic towards cheaters, so we don’t mind seeing them get “what’s coming,” whatever that means, onscreen. But real-life revenge isn’t typically life the movies. It’s much sadder and more complicated than that, yet it can be so very appealing as a means of coming to terms with what you’re feeling.

Revenge is not mature, so they say. It is not polite, nor productive; hopefully you don’t take that as my point here. I’m neither encouraging nor condoning it — especially when it comes to violence (don’t even hit somebody, pwease). But lividly blogging about your ex can make you feel somewhat better, even if it doesn’t actually change much. When it comes to truly damaging acts like posting naked photos online, it’s best to just think thoughts of revenge, not actually act on them. Oddly enough, I still have several of my exes’, um, “risque” pictures somewhere on this ol’ hard drive, but would never, ever do anything with them

Now, in the event that you’ve been cheated on and you do not want to use a hammer on your ex’s car, perhaps I should point you in this direction wherein you may find some assistance in figuring out what to do next. Steps like “grieve” and “make a choice”? Those are more rationally sound, safe ways to go about getting past a philandering ex.

I have been cheated on. It is not a good feeling. In fact, it is one of the worst feelings I can remember. That said, I’m quite glad I did not do (much) to avenge my displeasure, although I have most certainly pulled at least one the options below. I have also, unfortunately, been the perpetrator and received some unpleasantries as a result. Either way, cheating tends to result in some not-so-excellent results 99% of the time.

So, if you do have a “revenge” story that differs (or accompanies) the several examples I have provided, you should totally share them in the comments below. Bitch and sing, folks.

If your partner cheated, what type of revenge would you take (if any)?

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Photo: Sony Pictures

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  • meteor_echo

    Revenge may not be productive, it may be selfish or childish or whatever. But it makes the cheater understand that hurting someone you love in the worst way possible will NOT go unpunished. I’d probably out the cheater to all my friends and his friends, and definitely hack and delete his social network profile and e-mail (and maybe several important documents on the way). Maybe I’d just slip some Ex-Lax into his food, or maybe I’d visit his new beau and tell her about every single repulsive habit he has.

    Revenge is actually GOOD.

  • Rob

    As a man commenting, I’ve been cheated on before.
    Revenge is something I’m good at, not necessarily proud of. Instead of hooking up with someone that they HATE….I chose to hook up with five (5) of her closest friends, who also work with her.
    Think about that, not only did I destroy 5 friendships, but I also made her work environment uncomfortable, and also made her realize how much her backstabbing friends actually disliked her.
    Again, not proud of what I did, just saying.

  • Amanda Chatel

    My best revenge on a cheater:
    It was college. He cheated on me, then dumped me for the lead singer in his band (they’re now married). As payback, I signed him for a book club in which he’d get a welcome box of like 10 books to start. I chose all feminist-based/related books. He knew it was me and he congratulated me years later on how original it was…

  • libba

    I stayed with the bastard and tried my hardest to work it out throughout serial cheating.
    Not proud of that either, and probably (defintley) permanently emotionally damaged for it.
    probably would be better off mentally if i smashed his car and saved myself a year of torture and heartbreak. just sayin.

  • lucygoosey74

    At this point in my life, I’d simply break up with him and probably be emotionally devastated for quite a while. I was a different person when I was in my 20′s though. When my live in boyfriend cheated on me with a close friend, I threw a glass of orange juice in his face to blind him, then pushed him down a flight of stairs. I moved out and proceeded to crawl into a bottle and stay perma-drunk for a looong time. Yeah, those were very different times.

  • Texassweetheart

    Nah trashing a car is way to obvious… Pour sugar in the tank. It will ruin the engine and he/she won’t know what’s going on for at least a few hours and will have to pay a mechanic and tow truck to find out that their car is fucks… And it’s less incriminating. Also if he/ she doesn’t know that you know what I have done is after my bf left for work and left me alone in his apartment I poured a gallon of milk all over his mattress… It had time to absorb into the mattress and because we are in Texas and it was summer I just opened the windows and let the 110 degree weather. Heat and milk don’t mix

    • paperraincoat

      Sugar in the gas tank won’t make the car stall; it’ll run just fine. The first time. The engine itself will probably be okay but after they shut it off, all the sugar that dissolved in the hot fuel will crystallize and basically turn to cement. The engine might survive, but the fuel system won’t. It will not start and run again without major, major work. THAT’s when they’re hosed. Even though the rest of the car is okay, dropping the tank and pulling
      the lines and paying for parts and routing everything new is probably a big
      enough bill to not be worth doing.

      [I'm a mechanic/service writer. My shop had a sugar car before my time; I'm sad they didn't take pictures but the owner and lead tech love to tell the story. They got into it enough to basically see rock candy everywhere and the owner sold it to a dismantler for parts.]