Merry Christmas From The Elf On The Shelf

Elf on the Shelf
The elf is on the shelf. The elf is in a slightly different position on the shelf. No, the elf isn’t moving or looking at you. What an idea. Go to sleep.

The elf on the shelf is listening and learning.

The elf on the shelf. The changeling huddled and white at the foot of the bed. The nixies floating on darkling whispers in your curtains. The kobolds shifting from one foot to the other in the dark, in the quiet of the shuttered house. The wights with eyes wide open beyond the door. The draugr outside your window looking in. All creatures stirring but not yet ready to move. Something has happened to the mouse.

The elf on the shelf. Two elves on the shelf. Three elves on the shelf. All holding hands. Four elves on the shelf. All smiling now. Five elves. Six.

Too many elves for the shelf. Elves drift downward and take to the floor; elves collect and flow out into the halls. Elves inside of the walls, now, feet padding lightly over the rafters above your head. Elves moving with soft laughter inside of the heat ducts. Elves turning their heads and spilling out liquid chatter to one another. Elves pouring into the house.

[Image via The Elf on the Shelf]

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    • Fabel

      No! Nooo! This is terrifying!

      • mallelis

        The Elf on the Shelf terrifies me beyond all understanding and sense. Why does it exist?

      • Nikola

        I’m an adult, but I still go home to spend the holidays with my mom. She tried to bring up the ‘elf on the shelf’ (aka ‘the demon in plain sight’) yesterday as a fun new tradition to try. I squashed that suggestion as quickly and as firmly as was possible without resorting to threats of physical violence.

      • Lisa(r)

        So wait, how is the elf a “tradition”? I thought it was just a toy sitting on a shelf?

    • Bill

      Oh no