Kate Middleton is Faking Her Pregnancy

Kate middleton pregnancy fake

Look at the Duchess of Cambridge! Look at Kate Middleton‘s first public appearance at the Sport’s Personality of the Year award, where she is continuing to fake her pregnancy while wearing a lovely Alexander McQueen dress.

Traffic is down a bit this holiday season, so I’ve decided to be a conspiracy nut. Here are signs Kate Middleton’s pregnancy is fake, fake as a Cracker Jack gem. I’ve found some indications that there will be no baby Balthazar (I am still rooting for a Prince Balthazar) from the Duchess of Cambridge’s womb.

1) She is still very slender. Look at how slender she is.

2) If I were a princess/duchess, I would probably fake pregnancies just to get some sleep. This could be one reason I am not a princess/duchess.

3) Greta Garbo would probably do that, too. I bet lots of people would fake a pregnancy for some privacy and relaxation if they were in the public eye all the time.

4) Would you fake a pregnancy to “get away from it all?”

5) Her face doesn’t even look a tiny bit fat.

6) Everyone thought Beyonce was faking her pregnancy and she did appear to be pregnant.

7) If the royal family needed to use a surrogate, I bet they would not tell people about it.

8) I bet that surrogate would face serious consequences if they told.

9) Probably, the surrogate in question would have to make a desperate run for their life after their secret was revealed, even though that seems unnecessary, and, also, Prince William and Kate Middleton really seem like the kind of people who would use infertility as a way to raise awareness about reproductive challenges that couples can face. They actually seem like they would be completely normal and kind of great if Kate had to use a surrogate.

9) I have to go write a conspiracy thriller now, excuse me.

Picture via Wenn.com

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    • Jan

      With my first pregnancy, I suffered from horrid morning sickness and actually lost weight. Once I got to 13 weeks, my nausea subsided. I didn’t really look pregnant until month 8! So stop picking on this poor woman who wants privacy!

      • Trish

        This post is sarcasm. She’s not actually picking on her for anything.

    • alexandra

      YES I love this. #teamnobaby

    • LaLa

      I would totally read/watch the movie based on your conspiracy thriller. Also, I would suggest this for a title: Surrogate on the Run (with the tag line, “Her secret was King sized”)

    • Cristina

      I think this article, with all its irony & stuff, is in really poor taste given Kate’s current condition. You know, being in and out of hospital for constant nausea and having to take so much shit already for “not being able to carry the pregancy like a normal woman”. I really think everybody should just give her a break. There are plenty of subjects out there for your conspiracy theorising needs.

    • http://www.facebook.com/cassandra.williams.3745 Cassandra Williams

      looks like she is faking her pregnancy, who is her surrogate. she looks exactly the same size beyonce looked at at he stage

    • josie

      I think she is faking it. look at all the recent pictures of her so called bump. When she went to the beach she has no bump and then the following week she visited a womens recovery center for drug addiction and then wham she has a bump and it looks very different then the beach. if you see her pictures she is either in some tight outfit or in some poncho. yet she really does not have a bump? I think that they did use a surrogate and are padding her bump to not have people speculate about her. I remember that she had been facing rumours of being anorexic and it was a no-no for the media to report or speculate this in the British press. Plus she was running in heels on a field at her old school two days before she went to the hospital for extreme morning sickness. I think if I was that delicate I would not be able to run in heels! I think that they are using a surrogate. Remember they need people to love them so they can continue to take money and live lavishly. The Queen does not care about the British people… they live in a world where they think they are entitled to your money and believe that your lower than them. Sad but true. All her pictures do not show a bump, really look at how they tailor her outfits high up the waist but on the beach she really is flat and low.. if that is a bump or just tummy fat.

    • Hello

      On those pixls, by the hospital, on the next day, Kate still
      looked pregnant

      I think I can distinguish pregnant belly button from just
      given birth stomach.

      That nurse died. Kate was raised on genetically modified
      food (we all are, since it’s been for the past 15 years) which means her
      genetic pool already ruined. In lab as
      experiment they fed rats with soy powder. Second generation was weak and
      crippled; third generation they couldn’t even get. I don’t think royal family
      would want that. Something is not quite
      right here. And you all talking about loosing 10 lb or gaining 10lb as if it is
      big deal.

    • Cassie Ward

      Guys. She was not faking it. It’s a rumor. They did this to Beyonce and they did that to Kim Kardashian and now Danielle Jonas. If she’s not showing, it’s normal.