Let’s pretend you’re going about your day and everything is sailing smoothly. Perhaps the sun is shining or you just got a raise, or maybe you even found out that you’re going to be the next Secretary of State. Things are great! Everything is dreamy. You’re on a fucking cloud and you might even cry tears of joy because things are THAT AWESOME.
Then, you go to your mailbox, because that’s what people do, and you get the above holiday card. How do you feel? How’s your gag reflex, old chap?
Of course, if you’ve received this, you probably only have yourself to blame, because you either, A. Willing friended these people, B. Someone who hates you and put your name on a list for this type of malarkey, or C. You’re friends with me and I want to torture you just for shit and giggles. I’m sorry.
If you don’t find yourself in any of the aforementioned categories, I just thought you’d like to see this year’s glorious Kardashian holiday card. See how glorious it is? See how fancy and fun they are? Does your holiday card look like this? No? Obviously you know NOTHING about the holiday spirit then, because this is spirit. This is glamour, this is… making me feel a bit nauseated.