Kristen Stewart Wears Silliest Outfit From The Mall For On The Road Premiere

As I have most certainly announced before, I’m sure, I am not exactly what one might call a “fashionista.” My roots frequently go undyed, I cannot walk in heels besides boots and the majority of my purchases depend on how they would look/feel on me if I were bloated. It’s quite a simple life, actually! Nevertheless, there are some outfits that even I am aware are just plain terrible. For example, Kristen Stewart’s Twilight disco suit a la 1992 Selena (who somehow pulled it off). It looked just plain odd, though I’m sure I would’ve liked it better had she been dancing and single to Bidi Bidi Bom Bom.” But she wasn’t, so it was terrible. And now, KStew has somehow upped herself and worn the most peculiarly unappealing outfit to the New York City premiere of On The Road.

No, really. It is so silly:

Kristen Stewart - On The Road

Kristen Stewart - On The Road

Am I think only person who thinks this is remarkably weird? I feel as though this is the kind of dress you and your friends try on at the mall in a strange store that burns entirely too much incense indoors when you want to be “goofy” and find the oddest outfit possible. Not only is it too tight, too short and just plain hideous (again, not a fashionista, so perhaps I just don’t “understand” this dress…), it also stops the sheer overlay pattern in the back like some postmodern Stepford Wifeism metaphor.

Kristen Stewart - On The Road

Does anybody remember that bizarre Disney movie Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century? She would’ve loved this outfit. Loved it! This is very, very “Zenon” which, while great for hypothetical people living in our now-present century, I do find it is best to simply avoid Zenon inspiration altogether, particularly when it includes fluorescent patterns and sheer overlays and looks kind of like how Disney might dress the only Asian person on board Zenon’s ship.

Now, I personally empathize quite a bit with Kristen Stewart. I often feel that, like me, she is just a little bit less fashionable than everybody around her — something that is perfectly fine, and actually makes her more likable! That said, one or all of her stylists should’ve told her this was a no-go.

Photos: Ivan Nikolov/Michael Carpenter –

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    • Rachel

      I’m interested to know how this even works. Do you put the bra/granny panty part on first? And then the dress? Is it all connected? WHAT IS THIS!?

    • Guest

      Actually, I like it… K-Stew was less fashionable in her earlier days but she’s now one of Vogue’s top 10 best dressed women and is an ambassador of Balenciaga.

      • CDL CO

        So you only like it because she was chosen a a best dressed woman by Vogue and is the face of a major fashion house? That doesn’t mean it is okay. Is it the worst outfit I’ve ever seen? No. But someone with that kind of money and notoriety probably could have found something more flattering (the bunchy shorts under the dress, eek!). She has done better, much better.

      • Guest

        Ahem, I never said I liked it because of her standing with Vogue/Balenciaga. I commented on that because the author feels she is “less fashionable than those around her,” which isn’t true. I like the outfit, period. The material’s bunching but few fabrics in that cut won’t. I mean if it’s a body-tight fit, it’s going to move and flex with the body.

    • Jiraf

      Kinda like it, gotta say. Looks good on her, original, funky but still pretty…

    • Katy

      Like… okay. From the back it looks like it’s cute. It looks like there’s just a little design on the front & it’s a cute little shape & then the front of it hits you in the face & BAM.

    • Marisa

      I love you because you referenced Selena. :}

      • Samantha Escobar

        Oh my goodness, I love that you love Selena, too. :) She really was the greatest.

    • Paola

      Hmmm… I don’t like it. It had the potential to be a very pretty dress, but that weird high-waited short-like cut makes it look like she has a little pouch where a tiny Robert Pattinson kangaroo may pop up. I love the shoes, though!

    • Ktree

      In every single picture I see of Kristin Stewart, it seems as though she is concentrating very hard on not falling over. I’m not trying to be snarky, it’s just an impression I always get, and I want to reach out and help steady her. Does anyone else see this?
      Also the dress is bad. It doesn’t look like clothing.

      • Samantha Escobar

        I am 90% sure you are correct. The only reason I feel this way is because I have that face fucking constantly. I am always attempting to not fall over and that is why stilettos are simply not for everybody.

    • Cee

      It looks like something Katy Perry would wear

    • anya

      if we are talking high fashion, this dress isn’t weird in the slightest. The dress fits with the event she’s attending. i don’t think the dress is in any way silly

    • me

      I feel the reference to On the Road, is that she looks like she is wearing her underwear, as she probably does through most of the movie.

    • Cassie Dominicis

      i do love the shoes though.

    • anna

      i didn’t care until the back didn’t match the front.
      i have a weird hatred of things that don’t match front and back. i go into a blind rage and want to tear it off the offending person.

      also i don’t do peep toe pumps. i just think it’s tacky.
      can you tell i’m a neurotic design major?

    • libba

      i like it ok

      • sara

        me too

    • spike

      We don’t know how it looks, those photos were taken with a flash which gives a transparent look to the dress.