• Wed, Dec 19 2012

Bradley Cooper Is Deformed?

bradley cooper nipples

Okay, stuff got weird when Bradley Cooper appeared on Ellen DeGeneres yesterday.

After asking Ellen whether or not she recalled asking him to take his shirt off (she did) he said that he felt “free with you guys” and peeled off his shirt to reveal a third nipple.”

bradley cooper third nippleBoom! Third nipple! I wondered if this was to go along promoting Silver Linings Playbook - a lovely movie that is about how everyone is a little bit crazy, but you can still try to move your life in positive directions – and I thought, “well, third nipples aren’t really that unusual, unlike the rest of the audience I will not gasp with shock.”

But I did when he peeled up his sleeves and revealed still another nipple!

nipple armThat one really just looks kind of like a beauty mark. And then he pulled up his pant leg and revealed another one on his leg:  bradley cooper nipple legAnd that one definitely looked like a nipple.

However, The Daily Mail reports the nipples were just intended as a joke. I’ve decided that’s a massive cover-up, and Bradley Cooper definitely has seven or so nipples. That just feels accurate.

Would you think he was less sexy if he had a leg nipple? I would think it probably made him more sympathetic, because it must be awkward trying to cover that up, say, at the beach.

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  • Fabel

    Nearly palpable disappointment flooded over me when I read the part about how it was only a joke, so I guess that answers the whole “would he be less sexy with a leg nipple” thing. (And now I only have questions about my own apparent multiple, wrongly -placed nipple fetish…they just look so lickable)

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      But it would actually make him more charming, right? Because you would imagine him as an awkward kid, probably trying to cover his many oddly placed nipples.

  • anna

    i never thought he was sexy but i liked him more with extra nipples
    (what does this say about gloss readers?)

  • http://twitter.com/keanesian Meghan Keane

    I am being terrorized by Bradley Cooper’s leg nipple. Can I get worker’s comp?