I’m just gonna go ahead and assume you don’t wear fannypacks. It’s not that I think you don’t like to have your stuff handy and safe around the waist; it’s just that I kind of assume nobody wears fannypacks outside of being a parent taking their kids Disneyland. But what if that pack could be wrapped around your boobs rather than your, er, “fanny”? (By the way, worst word ever.)
New York-based writer and editor Christina Conrad has decided that this is a totally untapped and marketable idea, because women already often put credit cards and ID in their bras anyway. She created the “Boobypack: a fannypack… for your boobs,” which pretty much sums up the concept. According to its Kickstarter page, the Boobypack is “a sports-like bra that holds and protects your valuables from excessive sweat and movement.” It keeps these safe by unzipping at the underarm.
She’s marketing the idea primarily towards concert-goers; in particular, people who would be dancing vigorously at electronic music shows. The example for a potential user’s post-wear exclamation: “Thank god I had my Boobypack on when DJ (insert name) dropped his sick new beat or else I would have lost my mind AND my phone!” Now, I’ll forgive Conrad for using the term “sick new beat” because this actually makes a considerable amount of sense. While my rave days are behind me — seriously, being older than 21 at those events often feels like the first step to being geriatric — I do still go to a fair amount of concerts, and I can see how this thing might be handy. When you’re dancing and it’s really hot, you don’t want to be wearing a jacket or carrying a purse; it’s just annoying. Instead, putting stuff in your bra, but more securely, would be extremely convenient. Plenty of other people seem to believe in this idea, as well, as she has exceeded her $15,000 goal by over $3k already.
That said, I doubt I would ever wear this as a standalone bra…personally, while I love longer bras and bralettes, this type of material has never offered much structure for somebody with larger breasts. If I were to be dancing, as this is intended for, I’m pretty sure I’d be goddamned miserable. I also hate neon anything, so these colors feel a little heinous, to say the least. If this idea were suddenly lacy and gave a bit of support to my boobs, I would be totally into it. For now, though, I think I’ll just stick to pinning my pockets closed and/or just carrying a damn purse.