• Thu, Dec 20 2012

The Best Of Doomsday Sex Requests

durex doomsday apocalypse

Are you ready for the Mayan Apocalypse? Are you looking for a friend for the end of the world? No. You can’t make friends in like, one day. Friendship is a meaningful thing that evolves over time, and speaks to a bond you’ve formed with someone. You can, however, have pretty much meaningless doomsday sex, and some people are really shooting for that.

(And Durex is on it).

On Craigslist, one man writes:

Who wants to fuck friday night? All I ask is that you send a VIDEO and your phone number with your first message, and we’ll go from there, otherwise I’ll consider the message a fake and will not reply, it’s cold and rainy out, at this time, 3:18am, virgins are okay too!

 

Well, it seemed inevitable that some virgins were going to get sacrificed as a result of this thing.

Meanwhile, a 35 year old woman told the NY Post:

“You come into the world with people — you may as well go out with them.”

Thank goodness she isn’t using that line about how you come into the world alone and go out alone, when you literally come into the world inside another person.

Things aren’t working out quite so well for another Craigslist poster who says:

as i’m sure you know, the “end of the world” is only four days away. why not spend the time left having the best sex ever? ;)

edit: this is under “w4w,” NOT “w4m” or “w4mw.” do we not know how to read anymore?

While one more claims:

Judgement day is here. Show my your tits and I will judge them.

But who do people want to have sex with? Not the guy judging your tits, I guess. According to a recent survey by WEZL:

In a new survey, 58% of people say they’d want to have sex for the final time with . . . their significant other. That’s sweet. And most likely a total lie. 22% of people said they’d most want to have sex with a CELEBRITY. Remember, under this hypothetical, you COULD have sex with Scarlett Johansson. Like, somehow it’s just you and her in a bunker with some wine coolers.

 

67% of women and 49% of men said they would want their final sex to be with their significant other. 64% of people over 50 picked their significant other over a celebrity.

Well, we’ve still got 13 hours before the world end. While there isn’t really time to develop a meaningful bond with a true significant other, there might be time to find George Clooney.

Share This Post:
  • http://twitter.com/keanesian Meghan Keane

    Talk about an awkward morning if you decide to have sex with someone other than your significant other on the night the world ends. …And then you wake up and the world’s still there.

    • http://helloalle.com/ Alle

      Boy, would MY face be red!

  • Fabel

    Aw, but I would definitely pick my S/O over a celebrity! I mean, if it’s the LAST TIME you’ll ever have sex? Stranger sex has too much of a chance of being terrible & awkward. Sometimes it’s amazing, yes, but who knows if Bradley Cooper (or, ah-hem, whoever) is actually good in bed?