How Badly Were The Home Alone Burglars Injured?

home alone burglars

Have you ever watched the Home Alone and wondered “how did the wet bandits survive any of that, really, how are they not dead?”

The answer is “they really ought to be dead.” The Week consulted a medical expert for opinions on the severity of the burglars’ injuries and they came up with responses like this:

The set-up: While Marv is getting an iron to the face, Harry tries to enter the home through the front door. The first attempt doesn’t go well, as the stocky burglar slips on the icy steps and falls to the ground, landing with a thud on his back. Easing up a second time with the help of the railing, Harry makes it to the front door, reaches for the doorknob — which we see is literally burning red — and grasps the searing handle, the pain of which forces him once again down the icy steps.

The doctor’s diagnosis: ”If this doorknob is glowing visibly red in the dark, it has been heated to about 751 degrees Fahrenheit, and Harry gives it a nice, strong, one- to two-second grip. By comparison, one second of contact with 155 degree water is enough to cause third degree burns. The temperature of that doorknob is not quite hot enough to cause Harry’s hand to burst into flames, but it is not that far off… Assuming Harry doesn’t lose the hand completely, he will almost certainly have other serious complications, including a high risk for infection and ‘contracture’ in which resulting scar tissue seriously limits the flexibility and movement of the hand, rendering it less than 100 percent useful. Kevin has moved from ‘defending his house’ into sheer malice, in my opinion.”

I always suspected Kevin might just be a strangely sadistic kid.

Read all about it here.

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