I Fucking Hate Christmas

hate christmas cat

I know this title makes me sound like an absolute Scrooge, but in truth, the first half of A Christmas Carol pretty much sums up how I am during the holiday 95% of the time: it makes me irritable, I don’t want to be around anybody and I think it’s an overall ridiculous holiday and wish I could just keep working. The whole thing puts me in a bad mood to know it will arrive soon and I almost always leave it behind with a bad taste in my mouth.

Don’t get me wrong: I love holidays. Valentine’s Day is fun whether or not you’re in a relationship — if you’re single, you get tons of free stuff. St. Patrick’s Day is ridiculous amusement: you get to drink green beer and do Irish Car Bombs without people calling you an alcoholic. Halloween is close to my birthday and also just a flat out insanely great day; adorable kids in costumes, crazy college freshman in “costumes” and cocktails that look revolting but taste like caramel apples. What’s not to like? But there is something about Christmas, in particular, that is not fun the way the others are.

Believe me, I get its appeal: it involves family, food, gifts, shopping and time off. It’s wonderful! Any combination of those items can be a perfect recipe! But I still can’t stand so much about the whole season, as I elaborate in the gallery, because there are always extra things that piggyback onto the brief period as a whole.

So, why do I still celebrate it? Because my family does, and I love them much more than I dislike the day. It makes them happy to hang out for a few days straight and get sassy at one another and give lots of presents out, so I partake and will continue to do so indefinitely.

Photo: FunnyJunk

Share This Post:
    • Cee

      I love Christmas but I wish it didn’t involve so much family. My family seems so anxious and loud during our Christmas dinner/gift giving where I pretty much get a headache. And you are right about the greed. My little cousins all looked so bummed for ONLY getting this or that and some others were whining about going home to see if Santa got them better gifts. I got a pencil skirt, purple button up, wine and a target gift card, I’m more than satisfied with that.

      My ideal Christmas would be me and my wife taking a boozy filled long bath, eating dinner in our robes while watching movies and then opening gifts.

    • kowalski

      This is so weird. We just stayed home and ate pasta. I don’t know why anyone would do anything out of obligation. Christmas doesn’t interest me, so it occupies precious little of my thought process.

      • msenesac

        I sooo wish I could get away with doing that! I hate the required family time, required spending of hundreds of dollars on gifts, and the stress involved.

    • Cori

      I hated it growing up, I actually begged my parents yearly to just let me sleep in. I had anxiety issues due to being extremely reserved, I was sure I’d break someones heart by not reacting “right” to their gift. Not a lot of birthday parties for me either, I cried a lot.

      Now that I’m a grown up with kids of my own, I’m starting to get it. That sounds like mommy-jacking, but when I’m not even remotely the main focus of the present giving it’s awesome. Plus I eventually learned how to make appropriate gift receiving faces and say things that helped communicate that I do like their gift, so no more crying over presents for me.