At least in my household (but I know I'm never alone in this every year), there is an excessive amount of bickering and arguments between couples and families. People are stressed, they spend too much money, they have too much to do, they take it out on one another. It's a fucked up cycle and I think the whole holiday would do a lot better to simply give up on the pressure to have a "perfect" Christmas.
Photo: Angry Birds
As I said earlier, "Santa" is not always fun. Your parents choose to betray your trust (albeit for a childhood improvement cause) and insist that sometimes, home invaders are okay and sometimes, sitting on strangers' laps is okay if they promise to bring you presents and sometimes, you should leave people (as well as their transportation) snacks for when they break into your house at night.
The whole thing is a little weird, while simultaneously being adorable (particularly the part about bringing the world's kids toys...that is great). But it took me years to figure out why the gifts I asked for from Mall Santa were never given to me by Real Santa, to whom I assumed he reported. I thought Mall Santa just didn't like me very much; I later realized it was because I simply left those items off my list to avoid any overlap for my parents.
Photo: Sticky Rice
I have had friends -- grown, adult friends in college and even older -- who literally shake boxes and complain in the week or so leading up to Christmas because they don't feel like they're getting "enough" from their parents or significant other. "WTF," indeed, my friends.
I think Christmastime -- and, to be fair, any day of the year in which people are expected to give presents -- brings out the worst in many folks' greed. Getting pissed off and using the word "only" at any point during the day in reference to your presents is an asshole way to celebrate, and deeply indicative of bratty, spoiled character flaws. Granted, if it happens with a 7-year-old, it's less astounding. But I've seen a 20-year-old woman get mad because her parents "only" bought half her wishlist (which was probably 40 items long) and that is absolutely insane to me.
Photo: Harry Potter/Warner Bros.
"You don't have the 'Christmas spirit,'" they comment. And then they lecture you for 45 minutes about how they wish you chose a different career, college, city to live in, person to love...Now, forgive me if I don't feel like going through all my past, present and future mistakes, but I have like three days off work. Leave me alone, god dammit.
Illustration via MaryAndMoney
Seriously, there is almost always one person in every family who can't stop putting his or her needs before everybody else's, as though the rest of the family doesn't have wants and wishes and hopes for the season. 'Tis the season to be jolly? No, 'tis the season for people to feel like sabotaging a day that means a lot to their loved ones is a fantastic way of closing out the year.
Illustration by Dr. Seuss
At least in my household (but I know I'm never alone in this every year), there is an excessive amount of bickering and arguments between couples and families. People are stressed, they spend too much money, they have too much to do, they take it out on one another. It's a fucked up cycle and I think the whole holiday would do a lot better to simply give up on the pressure to have a "perfect" Christmas.
Photo: Angry Birds
First of all, I am by no means trying to belittle Christianity. That said, I do take issue with people who rarely -- if ever -- go to church all year, but right around the holidays, they decide it's the most important thing in the world and insist you do it, too, or else you're a heathen. If you want to be a frosty-weather friend to the church, by all means, go for it. But don't drag me into your moral decisions; I don't need to feel guilty for what you have or haven't done this year religion-wise.
You dog doesn't want to wear fucking reindeer antlers. Don't be an asshole.
Photo: FantasyStock / DeviantArt
It follows you, day and night. In the grocery store, in the mall, in the post office, in the fucking car if you still listen to the radio. It's sax Christmas caroling, and it's dangerous. There is literally no other music that has provoked my acid reflux quite in the same way.
I can't tell you how many car accidents my family has almost gotten into on Christmas. The reason for this is because I don't remember; it started seeming like a tradition when I was too young to form memories. Traveling is fucking scary on Christmas, and I absolutely hate doing it.
Photo: Museoautomovilmalaga
Yes, even though I hate the music and the atmosphere and the assholes involved 95% of the time, I do enjoy the fun and excitement sometimes, as well. That little 5% in which I get to see happy kids receive wonderful presents or my parents being excited about what I got them or the beauty of a perfect powdery snowfall -- that 5% is what matters most.
Photo: Skubaniac / DeviantArt
