Revelations: What We Learned In 2012 (Our Readers And Us, Too)

"In 2012, I learned that people won't change their minds just because you want them to, it doesn't need to take forever and a day to get over a relationship, people are slowly becoming more open to liberal ideas, and that love really is possible. I also learned that it is totally possible to cram for finals and still pass all your college exams! But seriously, love rocks."

"I learned that life is indeed short with the passing away of my dad, and that you should cherish every moment with someone because you don't know if it might be the last. I learned that being 'complicated' is okay, better than simple or boring. I learned at the end of the day, I am the best companion for myself. If you want something, go get it! Also, sparkling Moscato is delicious."

"I realized that anger can be a sign of growth or lack thereof and isn't simply something to avoid, that being selfish can sometimes be the best way to help everyone in your life, that gracefully losing an argument will make life better for all parties involved, and that you should always allow people to forgive you before you assume they would never do so.

Oh! And related to that last one, I had submitted a regrets piece a long time ago about how I regret losing touch with my siblings. As of the 24th, I am now in touch with 2 of the 3 siblings I hadn't spoken to in 6 years. That alone makes this year pretty spectacular."

"Life is what you make it- literally. You don't like something about your life? Let it go. You want more opportunity? Find it.

And there is nothing better to be hated for than telling the truth."

"1. Never EVER try to plan your own wedding. My BFF and I got married within two months of each other, and we both took the lead on planning 'very simple' DIY weddings. Big mistake. Stupid. Huge. Even if it's just a friend with a penchant for punishment, get someone else to do the major planning and be the Point of Contact. It will keep you sane, trust me. Three days before the wedding we lost two attendants - a bridesmaid and a groomsman, had bakery issues, music issues, lost our wedding singer, and two of my bridesmaids were late to the wedding. I was a wreck, and if someone else had been HBIC, I could have just sipped from my flask and let it be handled.

2. It's okay to be jealous of friends, IF you use your jealousy to make changes to improve your life. It's not okay if you just seethe about it and become bitchy and bitter.

3. Have more girlfriends - This one is a huge one for me, having surrounded myself with primarily drag queens and gay men for the last 5 years of my life. I discovered the need for girlfriends, ladies with vaginas and lady-feelings. It's been a huge help getting me through things like getting married, dealing with fertility issues, being excited to find out I finally got pregnant, and to hold me and buy me booze when I found out yesterday about my miscarriage.

4. Rhinestones make everything better - that is all.”

"In 2012 I learned that being in love doesn't have to be a sudden ‘light bulb’ moment... sometimes it's one of those energy-saving light bulbs that takes a while to warm up. I also learned that it can be incredibly therapeutic to spend the day cooking, that it's okay to break up with friends who are bad for you, and everything is less threatening after a good night's sleep."

"I'm through giving any form of love towards people who don't fully reciprocate the respect I show them.

Orange juice, vodka and seltzer in a champagne flute is not really a "mimosa " (and will no longer be part of my balanced breakfast.) I will start working out on a regular basis... by getting on top during sex. I need to stop being too embarrassed to wear my hammer pants in public as they're the most comfortable things I own, and that makes them totally worth having my ass look like it's gradually melting underneath."

Photo: Andrea Kennedy

"In 2012 I wanted to find more things to fill up my life beyond my work and my relationships, and make friends who were outside of my usual social circle. To that end, I joined a book club and volunteering with a group. I'm kind of astonished about how much happier those things made me. Initially, I was pretty hesitant because I was worried about whether or not I would have the time for them, but it's sort of shown me that time expands to make room for the things you want to get in your life."

Photo: AMC

"I learned that sometimes what seems to be a minor decision is actually a really important one. I also learned that nothing is worth more than self-respect, and that sometimes it's not only important to ask for help, but really and truly for the best."

"I realized I look fucking awesome in red lipstick. I swear too much. I’m still able to occasionally surprise myself with my gumption. Slightly crooked teeth are charming. A Swede-less life is a great life… and in the words of Sharon Van Etten: Never let myself love like that again. You know, have my heart treated like monkey meat."

"In 2012, I learned that I can never rely on a guy too much no matter what he may say to your face. I have learned to control the things that I CAN control and to be happy. I have learned who my real friends are and who was just using me. I learned a painful lesson about love and that it isn't as easy and clear cut as I originally thought."

"This year I learned how much I can love. I adopted a dog who needed a lot of rehabilitation, and despite it being a VERY DIFFICULT process, it's the best thing I've ever done. I love my Oliver so much; he filled a void in my heart that I didn't even know was there.

I also learned that the way I relate to men when it comes to relationships could stand some work. As it is I'm a very guarded person. My walls are hundreds of feet high, which makes me kind of hard to get to know. I never thought this stuff was a problem -- it was keeping me from getting hurt, which is the entire point -- until a guy friend started pursuing a girl who basically acts exactly the way that I do. Suddenly I saw this awesome dude, whose only problem was that he really liked this girl, get rebuffed and punished for it at every turn. I saw how confused he was and how upset it made him. It was pointless, and it was bullshit. And I realized, holy shit, THIS IS ME. This is what I do! There's a dude texting me right this minute; I'm basically doing it NOW.

So now I have to change. Protecting myself from getting hurt can no longer be my number one priority, because not only will it deter people from trying to get close to me, but it's not fair to them. There's more than one way to mistreat someone, and I need to keep that in mind."

"In 2012, I learned that -- no matter how much you may love them -- trying to fight someone else's battles for them will solve nothing and leave you both with some ugly wounds."

"In 2012, I learned that I'm not cut out for a 'real job,' that working alone at home in leggings with my dog by my side makes me feel just as (if not more) successful than a fancy suit and an office with a window. I learned that coconut oil is basically God, that homemade tomato sauce you make yourself is like 5000 times better than Ragu (or even Newman's Own.) I learned that you have to choose the life you chose, if that makes sense. Biding your time until you get the life you think you want isn't healthy or productive or anything other than a big wall preventing you from seeing all the gorgeousness of the life you're in, right now, today, at this moment, in this breath."

"That my sex life is just as awkward as the scenes in Girls, but I'm okay with that because I know it will get better in time."

Photo: HBO

“My revelation this year has been in relation to using social media (shocking, I know!) in a way that keeps me sane.

While I'm a heavy Twitter user, I've learned that it's okay to step away for a break in order to maintain my self-preservation. Some topics and passions of people can be too overwhelming for me and I've learned that it's okay to not try and fight every battle and that it's important (and not selfish) to put myself first. I've learned that 'self care' is mandatory, and observing it does not make me weak.

I've also been able to meet a lot of amazing people this year that I originally 'met' via Twitter and I'm very glad for that. Many also support the 'twitter time out' and importance of self care.'"

- Tits, I win. Easiest way to shut down an argument with a man.
- A cheater is a cheater is a cheater. Next.
- Christmas over corn nuts every time. (Bake with corn nuts, smoke the Christmas. Yes, this is about weed.)
- Any gal named Amanda in New York is instantly vetted. (Chatel note: obvs.)
- Don't paint the red flags white.
- May 19 continues to give.
- If your friends don't want to hear about him because of how he's acted, reevaluate his presence in your life. (Curb him.)

"In 2012, I learned that I'm much braver than I thought I was. I took romantic risks. I will do things on my own (movies, trying new restaurants, etc.) I learned how to live by myself, and have found that it's actually kind of nice, while at the same time forces me to step outside of my comfort zone.

Picture... I'm pretending to be a bear. I'm brave and awesome, and 2013 is going to bring absolutely fabulous things"

"In 2012 I learned that I can be happy no matter what else is going on in my life, that silence can be golden, but it can also destroy you, that I want to be a writer now, or when I grow up, or when I grow old, or always, that I should never, ever abandon good people, and that bad people usually can't be salvaged."

"1. I have a lot more willpower than I thought. I always used to say I 'couldn't' eat healthier: 'I try so hard but I just can't!' As it turns out, I just didn't want to and wasn't really trying. It's taken minimal effort to eat less cookies/more veggies, and I feel pretty amazing.
2. Sometimes the best love stories are boring as fuck. Thinking back on all my dating horror stories have illuminated for me what a horribly boring story my marriage makes: we fell in love, we are really nice to each other, and there is lots of passion but little to no drama. The end. It's a great marriage, but it would make a shit movie.
3. I should have chopped my hair off a long time ago! People will tell you that chubby girls cannot pull off a pixie, but I literally have people tell me everyday how much they love it. Yesterday a stranger took a picture of it to take to her stylist. That never happened with long hair, no matter how good it looked.
4. There is a breast reduction in my future. I will take out a loan for it, I don't care how long it takes to pay it off. I am tired of carrying around what I assume is about 40 pounds of tit."
5. I really love working retail! I'm 26, about to finish my masters, and all I really want to do right now is fold sweaters and help little old ladies find outfits. Never would have guessed that.

"I learned that you need to be your biggest champion when it comes to your career. In 2012, after an overdose of Bullish columns, I started my own college search consulting business, pitched magazine stories and started a collegiate chapter of a magazine editorial organization. I'm no longer afraid to attempt something and fail -- there's always something to learn."

"My revelation for the year was to embrace fear... and well, not be afraid of it. I have dared to do a bit more than I have been known to do and am no worse for wear. In fact, I'd say I'm better for it. and if I make any resolution for 2013, it's to do more of it and take more chances."

"1. The only thing I have control over is my reaction to situations.
2. Don't use a magic eraser to get off temporary tattoos - just don't.
3. Solo dance parties make things automatically better.
4. That boy was totally not good enough for me."

Photo: HBO

"I realized in the past year that what I want professionally is within my reach. I'll have to work hard, and convince people I can actually work out of my little box, but it can and will work if I try.

This was actually quite the revelation, as I was always brought up to think you had to stay in your place/rank and mind your own business!"