As the world learned in the wee hours of the morning yesterday, Kanye West and his equally narcissistic and delusional girlfriend, Kim Kardashian, are expecting their first baby together. [Insert collective groan here.]
As everyone’s favorite EIC Jennifer pointed out in her post about this madness, West and Kardashian are, and I’m going to quote her here: “God help us, our version of royalty.” Unfortunately, this is true. What this says about our country isn’t something worth getting into, because it will just involve a lot of knocking of Wonderbread, American cheese and will probably end up being a rant about the fiscal cliff. We don’t want that on the first day of 2013; we want happy thoughts full of promise today, dammit!
However, what we should point out is just how absurd it is to even give a fuck about these two in the first place, let alone the fact that they’re going to bring a mini-version of themselves into the world. (Who shall be named “Kretin,” if I have any say in the matter.)
Any hatred toward either one of them aside, here are just a handful of a million reasons why you, me and everyone we know shouldn’t give a damn about this pregnancy. Besides, we all know Kim was just trying to one-up Kate Middleton with this move. Breaking news, Kim: YOU ACTUALLY AREN’T ROYALTY.
Photo: Will Alexander/WENN.com