• Wed, Jan 2 2013

I Hate It When Men Love Natural Beauty

natural beauty

Oh, God, this is happening again. Men love natural beauty, they wish you’d wear less make-up. As XX states, men are telling you that you are silly bunnies who don’t know what you’re doing with the make-up brush. Again. And the New York Times is on it!

In the Room For Debate Section section, the Times is discussing whether or not women should wear make-up. Namely:

Some would argue that makeup empowers women, others would say it’s holding them back from true equality. A recent survey seems to come down on the side of makeup—at least superficially—saying that wearing makeup increases a woman’s likability and competence in the workplace.

Unsurprisingly, you’ll see comments like this from men:

Do any other men share my point of view that makeup makes women unattractive? The extreme gloss that some women use as lipstick is repulsive. Who would want to kiss such lips?

Right.

He certainly wasn’t alone in this sentiment, as evidenced by The Boy in Outer space who declared:

boy in outerspace(And who received an admirable slew out of outraged responses).

I once dated someone who told me I shouldn’t wear lipstick, because, as he politely explained “I haven’t told you this, but I don’t like it. You don’t need to wear make-up. I don’t like it.”

At which point – I can’t remember what I said. But I should have said “cool, because it’s not for your benefit.” I didn’t. I tried to change my make-up routine, and that made me kind of sad, because I liked my make-up routine, and eventually the relationship ended, and I realized I could wear red lipstick again, and that made me happy. So, in a way he did me a favor, though I doubt the way he expected.

That’s not to say that I wear make-up entirely for myself. I did not grow up in a cave and stumble upon a tube of lipstick with my enormous night seeing eyes and latch onto it as my only form of comfort (though I respect those who have that relationship with lipstick, and think they’re going to have a blast when they discover eyeliner). Obviously, I wear make-up because the act of applying it and wearing it carries with it certain societal connotations. I suppose, for me, the act of applying it always makes me feel adult. And, hell, it makes me feel like I’m at the beginning of a movie montage where the glamorous character applies lipstick and picks out a pair of shoes, and I like feeling that way. I like putting on lipstick in the morning, and forming my mouth into that cool “oh” the way they do in the movies. I like finding new colors. It’s fun, is what it is. It’s like painting. On your face.

I also think it would be fun to be a clown, if clowns weren’t so terrifying with their deceptive Satanic faces. I guess I’d like being a clown if you were allowed to own how scary you were. But that is another story, for another time.

So, I find that putting on make-up is more about me and the associations I have with make-up than the act of making a man in my life happy.

Which men, surprisingly, do not seem to realize. At all.

I think men genuinely think they are being nice when they tell women they shouldn’t wear make-up. I’ll give you that not wearing make-up requires less effort, than, say, going out and getting breast implants, or any number of other ways men might want you to alter your appearance for their benefit. But they’re still trying to get you to alter your appearance for their benefit.

That sucks.

Don’t do that. If you want to wear make-up, wear make-up. If you don’t want to, don’t. If you want to be a clown, be a scary clown. So, just proceed in the same way you already know in your heart is right.

Picture via Creative Commons

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  • http://maggiesquires.tumblr.com/ Maggie

    Also, when men are saying that, they generally mean don’t pull a Kim Kardashian on your face (which if you want to do that, then do it! As much as I hate the Kardashians for being famous, I had a little less disrespect for them when they joked about how they do their makeup like drag queens). What most men who say this DON’T realize is that when they find a women attractive who “isn’t wearing any makeup,” she’s generally wearing a little makeup. We’re just magical angel creatures who know how to do our makeup without looking like a Kardashian.

    That’s not to say that there aren’t women out there who look beautiful without makeup. More that I’m pretty sure men have no idea how makeup works and that we don’t necessarily put it on for them.

    • Samantha_Escobar

      I remember reading an article once about a beauty editor who, when asked why she didn’t wear any cosmetics, said that the sign of good natural makeup was when people thought you weren’t wearing any.

      I think there are plenty of people who look great without makeup, but those are people who are most happy without it and being comfortable often translates to looking better. =)

    • markmywords

      ^^This is it.^^

    • Cate

      Exactly. I have met only one heterosexual man who, for example, knows the difference between eyeliner and mascara. This includes stage actors who have to wear makeup in productions!
      About a week ago I washed off my makeup and then put it back on again in front of a male friend. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he said, “I thought you only wore LIPSTICK! And you have a PIMPLE!”

      This is all proof of how men do not understand makeup at all.

    • MR

      Guilty. But I do like the feel of a woman’s natural skin.

    • Rinali

      A good foundation, applied properly, won’t alter the feel of it much or at all.

    • Cate

      That’s what I was going to say! So basically, @2996870281a073f906ff4ccadb777c55:disqus, you could be touching a foundation-wearing lady’s face and not even know it. It’s really only heavy/greasy foundation or heavy powder that alters the feel of the skin.

    • MR

      Okay. But when I kiss a woman with lipstick on her lips, I do notice the difference.

    • Cate

      This is very true, and to be fair, there are a lot of nude lipsticks, so you might not be able to tell just from looking.

    • Feral N Hungry, Esq.

      True, but most people badly apply shitty foundation.

      And now I am Sad.

    • kamlesh

      well said

    • amanda jarvis

      when my husband and i started dating he would watch me put on my makeup in complete wonder. always amazed it came out looking like it did in the end. those several shades of eye shadow can look very strange until they are blended together.

      i LOVE makeup. i always have. i wear makeup every single day because i love it. i couldn’t care less what others think of it…though i will admit i do love how often i am complimented on it. i haven’t left the house without full makeup since i was 12 and i’m not about to start now!

    • http://helloalle.com/ Alle

      YEP. Dudes say that they like women “not wearing makeup” because most of them don’t understand makeup. They think if we don’t look like Tammy Faye Baker (too dated?) that we must not be wearing any.

      Personally I love wearing makeup. I love applying it and playing with it. I also love not wearing any and running out with my dog. What dudes think about my face routine is not important except in the sense that I enjoy looking nice, and I suppose that “looking nice” isn’t as fun if there’s nobody around you to see it. But then again, I play with makeup when I’m home alone all the time. So.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Hilah-Parrot/1191360777 Hilah Parrot

      Tammy Faye Baker references are never dated.

    • http://twitter.com/enbrown Elizabeth

      Oh, yeah, def. Men who say they don’t like makeup mean “I don’t like green eye shadow and neon orange lips and fake eyelashes,” not “oooh, gawd, yuck, did you subtly camouflage that dark circle under your eye and slightly darken your eyelashes???”.

      My boyfriend gets points this week for saying, when I asked him about getting a pixie cut, “I think I prefer it long, but obviously it’s your hair so you should do what you want with it.” Although that doesn’t bring me any closer to a decisino about the pixie cut …

    • http://twitter.com/suitcasegnome Meg P. W.

      DO IT! If it’s something you really want, take the plunge and try it out. I did it a few months ago and I love it.

    • Feral N Hungry, Esq.

      It that the current look? I like the blue.

    • markmywords

      Ding ding ding! I think you got a winner!

  • Samantha_Escobar

    I love this. My ex used to insult me for wearing makeup and would insist I wasn’t a feminist because the only reason I wore it was for men/to be more attractive to people. In actuality, the twenty minutes in which I slowly put on my makeup in a precise order while watching an episode of something fun is one of the absolute best parts of my day, and nobody is gonna take that away from me, god dammit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/karen.valdivia Karen Valdivia

      Good thing he’s an ex, he had no right to insult you for wearing make up. If he liked it or not, had no reason to be rude.

  • Candace

    White mascara looks awesome.

  • Candace

    ALSO my boyfriend who “prefers me not to wear makeup” doesn’t know this, but whenever he says “Your face smells good” it’s because I just put some nice powder on it. Booya

  • APS

    Women… just do it, when do we ever listen to what men say anyway? Just believe in yourself and help young women know that anything is possible and that as women, we are always beautfiul.. http://www.womenyoushouldknow.net/you-are-movement/

    • Tom

      Thats right! The next article about changing a man should be met with similar language.

    • …her?

      The next article about changing a man (or anyone): “Don’t Even Try, It’s Impossible.” Have we not all learned this yet? Is that not in the curriculum of relationships 101?

  • Theretherepear

    here here! I hate it when men wear those hideous goatees and unflattering haircuts, but I don’t say anything. If they like it, then fine. When I wear make up its because I feel like it that day.

  • http://twitter.com/SamiDan19 Sami Jankins

    Why can’t make-up be creative expression? It’s like art for the face. I always think of my daily clothes like costumes… “who do I want to be today?” type deal. :-)

    • Sonsy

      Word.

  • http://www.facebook.com/karen.valdivia Karen Valdivia

    “But they’re still trying to get you to alter your appearance for their benefit.”

    I think that’s the core of the matter. I believe your beauty choices are YOURS only and someone can say something about it, but ultimately it’s your body and your choice. If someone dislkes it, they can look at something else.

    When men say they like natural beauty they think about waxed skin, shinny hair, clear complexion, rosy cheeks and lips, long lashes, etc, etc. Hey guys, we weren’t born that way! We need the extra help from beauty rutines to achieve that “natural” look. Make up is only the most obvious part of the beautyfing process.

  • Sean

    Sorry, just making sure I read this correctly. The primary concern is men who say “I prefer you with/without makeup” as a means of controlling their significant other right? If so, then yes, agreed.

    I draw the line at clown makeup though. It’s totally within her right to be a clown if she wants, but it’s also within my right to run screaming from the apartment in terror.

  • sabrachoso

    This is absolutely true. That time I spend doing my makeup is time for me. Whenever my douchebag ex would make me sad, I would do my makeup and feel beautiful and gain control over my self esteem when he tried to take it from me. Plus, makeup was something I shared with my mother, who passed when I was twelve, and is something that helps me feel that connection to her in a small way. Part of it is also because I like to look good, duh.

  • Elle

    I actually have other women shaming me about wearing makeup. They make me out to be so shallow, but then when they tell their reasons for not wearing it, it usually goes back to a guy somewhere along the line telling them not to wear it. Who’s the shallow one? Me, who enjoys putting it on and the way I look in it, or them, who conform their physical appearance to someone else’s specifications in order to be liked?

    • rara

      Them. 100% them.

  • Sonsy

    For me, putting on make-up signals “I am getting shit done today,” versus, “I am sitting around in sweats with greasy hair today.” That said, I got eyelash extensions so even on the greasy sweatpants days I can feel like I might get a little shit done today.

  • Penny

    Yes! And now we must email this to every man on the planet.

    • Alessandra Martellacci

      So they can miss the point and ridicule our “attempts” at trying to be “people”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mike.mcdougall.18 Mike McDougall

    It’s not just your clown makeup we hate, it’s also your stupid hairstyles. Many women look better with their hair tied back than they do after it has been styled. Stop asking gay men for advice.

  • chris

    I was shopping for my niece this christmas and realised girls only get dolls and makeup kits. wtf? We really are sterio typing our younger genaration just like the author was by the movies when she was young. It’s fine to ware make up but not 90% of the women. Same goes for gossip mags. I don’t think the percentage of men that watches sports comes even close to that.

    • lisa

      When my daughter was five I bought her a small tool set. Not a play one but a real one. She liked to take out her tool set and ‘help’ me when I was doing repairs, remodeling, etc. Always good to have girls experience other things other than our cultural norm of girly girls. Now my daughter can drill and drive in a screw or hammer in a nail as well or better than any boys her age. And she is still very much a girl but one that can be practical and HELPFUL instead of having only fluff in her head as to what color of finger nail polish she is going to wear to school tomorrow.

  • Tania

    My male coworker, after I put on a little extra make-up before going to the staff party (I was working that day, with no time to go home to get ready, so I had to do it at work), said to me “You don’t need make-up.” I replied that I don’t need it, but I like it, and that’s all that matters. I hadn’t even put on much, just refreshed my eight-hours worn eyeliner and face powder. I have blonde eyelashes, if I don’t wear mascara, my eyes look naked.

  • Lo

    Natural beauty still means beauty. It’s not going without makeup, it’s being genetically lucky (to the observer, at least).

    I’d happily chuck the concealer and blusher if I had the skin of a doll, but this was not in my genes, and doll skin is really hard to stitch together to a sufficient size. I use makeup to achieve a non-haggard ‘natural’ look, and sometimes colours because I love colours.

    I guess the trick is to know when to stop. Or when to go much, much too far. It’s dark now, and I’m going to put on my full clown outfit and unicycle through the streets. If you see me, quote this article and I’ll tell you how I used concealer to hide my soul.

  • Tambo

    It’s my sincere opinion that men should learn how to use makeup. Most guys I know could use a little concealer. I know many dudes who wear a scraggly beards because it “helps to define the jawline.” It would be nice if makeup for men was socially accepted; most of them could benefit from the confidence boost that makeup provides.

    I know I’m pretty much alone in this opinion.

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      I think this would be pretty cool, actually, and I imagine if it were socially acceptable I know a lot of guys who’d get a kick out of it.

    • Eileen

      I’ve often wondered if teenage boys wished concealer were socially acceptable for men to wear. As bad as my own high school acne was, it was nothing compared to an awful lot of the boys I knew.

    • Feral N Hungry, Esq.

      Yes. Yes they do. Now you know.

    • rari

      I’m pretty sure you are.

  • http://profiles.google.com/lailoken Marius Piedallu van Wyk

    It does sometimes look cool to put make-up on. But I don’t prefer it on people generally. Both overly-manicured men or women unsettle me. But I don’t try and force anything on other people. They do as they wish. I personally will not be attracted to them, that’s who I am.

    I see it as a waste of time. Much as my own little quirks may seem like a waste of time to other people.

    I fortunately do not care what other people think about the things I like. And neither should you. For me confidence is even more attractive in people than wether or not they are manicured.

  • Eileen

    My former coworker – whom, for the record, I did genuinely like – said he doesn’t date women who wear a lot of makeup because he’s dated women in the past who did and later discovered they weren’t pretty without their makeup on…which I think might be what most men who claim to dislike makeup are getting at.

    Personally, I’m not crazy about makeup, and yes, I do think that wearing it (in non-clownish ways; i.e. not as part of an artistic statement but as trying to look conventionally attractive) IS buying into the patriarchy. But men who say, “Don’t wear makeup,” really mean, “Be conventionally attractive without any help.” I don’t mind if they prefer that – I think most women would prefer that, too. But it’s not really their place to instruct.

    • Jane

      Precisely. It’s lying. Also, some men don’t like gunk on a woman’s face. They prefer the natural look, even if you might “look better” with makeup on. Let’s turn the situation around. Would it be ok for men to wear makeup? What about lying or hiding baldness? Plenty of women dont like bald men, and they arent afraid to say so.

    • HumanBeing

      I would be fine with guys wearing makeup. Even my boyfriend. I think guy-liner is hot ;)

    • Lala

      One can understand where he’s coming from, from a standpoint of being deceived but without makeup those women who are not pretty naturally may feel less confident going out into society. So therefore, either way both parties will feel the sting any “for” or “against” movement.

  • maz

    Really? As one of the abovementioned men who like “natural” looking women, I can say this–if you’re wearing makeup because you like the way you look in it, great. Paint your face any way you want to–go Blue Man Group if you feel like it. Just don’t ask me to validate your decision through my behavior, then get upset when I don’t conform to your warped and dated concept of generalized male sexual response. If you’re wearing makeup to attract my eye, or expect me to view you more favorably because you put in the effort, or tell me that you don’t understand why I don’t prefer women in makeup, that’s on you, not me. If I tell you that I prefer “no makeup”, that’s my preference. Getting bent about how other women will perceive you if you don’t wear makeup, and taking that out on those of us who don’t like the look of plastic faces, or refusing to acknowledge that I have a right to a preference by saying that I don’t know what “no makeup” really looks like (in essence questioning my intelligence) is frankly insulting. I’d rather be having a conversation with you than waiting in the living room for you to finish hour #2 of prep before we leave, then having to wait at the restaurant for you to adjust for the lighting at the restaurant, then waiting after dinner for you to redo everything. I get that you might feel more confident, but after decades of being told by women that the male gaze causes women to feel inferior, and therefore forces them to conform to makeup, fashion, and other indignities that men just don’t have to deal with, I question that feeling, and I’d rather you not have to deal with any of it rather than constantly be angry because you think you have to, or because your mother forced you to. Be yourself, whoever that is, and let me decide if that’s attractive. Clean works. Just soap is good. Wear comfortable shoes. Don’t get irritated at me if that’s not good enough for you.

    • MilitantRubberDucky

      I think, Maz, she was talking about men who “say” they like natural looking women, but when they encounter women who have no makeup on who don’t own the “natural beauty” they think we all possess, they tear them down for not being beautiful enough to their standards. Many times, we encounter men who want it both ways.

    • maz

      That’s nowhere close to my interpretation–she’s stating that men who don’t like makeup don’t understand how valuable it is to the women that wear it. In my case, that’s probably true, but she implies that all men who are actually confronted with bare-faced women inevitably find them unattractive, and so men as a group are unable to decide such things for themselves. As far as I’m concerned, not the case at all–for multiple reasons, I’m not in favor of makeup, and I’m quite clear on what that means. Most of the comments have run along the same lines, essentially that men who say they prefer no makeup don’t really mean it, so ignore them. I really mean it. I’ll grant that I’m likely in the minority, but I’m not alone. There’s an analogy to be drawn here, if you turn the tables. For men, the equivalent concept would be “expensive car”. Male culture supports the concept of competition, and expensive cars can be a part of that for a lot of men. However, not all women love expensive, luxurious automobiles. Many do, and for a lot of men, having an expensive car provides a certain amount of status, and can engender self confidence. That said, I wouldn’t begin to think that all women really love expensive cars, or question someone who says “I don’t like them”. If you find someone who has an expensive car, is willing to take his resources and invest them that way, and you like expensive cars, great! You’ve found someone who shares that value. If you don’t like expensive cars, or believe that owning, insuring, and maintaining one is a colossal waste of money, wouldn’t you be just a little miffed if someone insisted that your belief was invalid, and that you secretly wanted your mate to have an expensive car, no matter what you said to the contrary?

      I guess the point I’m trying to drive home is that men are not the homogenized, predictable, easily-manipulated population that the author supposes us to be, or that female culture would like us to become. Some of us actually do think for ourselves, at least once we’re out of high school, and can come to our own conclusions about what is attractive, and what is not. If I don’t like the way you look, or what it says about your values system, so be it. You’re free to judge me the same way (and you should)–it’s how relationships are formed. From my perspective, women who feel that they need to put on warpaint to date, precisely because they don’t feel adequate without it, are not a good match for me. We don’t share similar values systems. More power to those who like makeup, but it’s not for me. Don’t insist that I accept your use of makeup as making you more attractive, and we’ll get along just fine!

    • Jessica Miller

      You shouldn’t have corrected MilitantRubberDucky. You were so much cooler in that interpretation.

    • Jane

      Perfectly spot on. Couldn’t be more right.

  • Jade

    Natural beauty is so much better

  • RandomGuy

    When I tell a woman I don’t like makeup, it’s because it tastes fucking terrible and is probably toxic. Powder, lipstick, gloss… I don’t want to taste that crap. I don’t even want to smell it. I sure as hell don’t want it on me. So if you put on all that stuff, you’re basically saying you don’t want me to kiss you. As long as that’s understood, paint yourself as much as you want. Just don’t complain about a lack of affection if you put it on everyday.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sven.erlandson Sven Erlandson

    Soooo many women are cheating, nowadays! (Leann Rimes, Kristen Stewart, Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton, Rita Ora/Kardashian, Coco/IceT, Petraeus women)

    My latest book, “I Steal Wives: A Serial Adulterer Reveals the REAL Reasons More and More ‘Happily Married’ Women are Cheating,” is a highly controversial look at this EXPLOSIVE topic! And the real reasons aren’t the typical blather you hear on talk-TV or read in some psychologist’s SECOND-HAND textbook answers in a self-help book. No, this is the FIRST BOOK EVER WRITTEN from the FIRST-HAND, insider perspective of a serial adulterer, who cheated with the wives of over 25 men (and a few women)! It’s currently trending in the top 1% of book sales at Amazon!

    This book will offend you! It brings up stuff no one wants to talk about, and it comes from a man who did very, very bad things! But because of his unusual perspective he has unusual solutions! Let’s be honest, WE’RE ALL LOOKING FOR FRESH NEW ANSWERS TO RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS! But all the supposed experts are reading out of the same boring textbooks, and no one has new insights from new perspectives….UNTIL NOW!!

    This book is HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL! Hate the author and his moral failings all you want (and many people do!) but the powerful insights of “I Steal Wives” are pure gold, never before seen in relationship books! It’s not the same crap we’ve been reading for decades in relationship books, this stuff will either piss you off or blow your mind, or both! Research now shows that the frequency of female cheating now rivals or exceeds male infidelity!

    “I Steal Wives” is a salacious, highly self-deprecating, often funny, and penetratingly insightful look into the core reasons for female infidelity from the EXTREMELY RARE perspective of a man who stole over 25 wives, cheated on one of his own wives, and was cheated on by both of his wives. The author has lived it from all sides!

    “I Steal Wives” is the relationship version of “How to Secure Your House….as Told by a Professional Burglar!” It’s the first relationship book written in GUY LANGUAGE and GUY STORIES, so that GUYS WILL ACTUALLY WANT TO READ IT, and so couples can read it together! It will forever change how you do relationships and understand….especially if you are one!

    You can check it out at Amazon!

    • Enna

      My father stole wives too. He was a sociopath. He lost his family and the respect of his peers and died saying he had ruined his life. So go out and have fun….while it lasts.

    • Jessica Miller

      You sir, are an EPIC douchebag.

  • Kat

    Yeah, guys THINK they don’t like makeup on girls until they see them without it. My guy friends looked pretty dismayed when they saw pics of the Victoria’s Secret Angels without makeup.

    • Jane

      But you see, that’s part of the problem. Because we are makeup crazy as a culture, no one is used to not seeing women without makeup. (And I HIGHLY doubt that anyways, those models are still attractive–well, as much as a model could be I suppose, they often aren’t even that beautiful, it’s just a particular body style that is needed for a runway). If makeup wasn’t a default setting, those men wouldn’t know the difference

  • Luna

    I was okay with this until you brought up the ‘movie’ thing.

    Yes, men are annoying when they find another way to degrade you or hold you back by guilting you about something. They don’t know anything about being a woman. For example, I have a beautiful friend who won’t do anything to herself, won’t cut her hair, wouldn’t even keep on this nail polish that looked adorable on her, because her boyfriend wouldn’t like it. “He likes me for me,” she says. No, he likes the ‘me’ he thinks you are and wants to keep you there.

    BUT, you have to be careful. A lot of the things we’re happy doing do evolve from long-imposed societal expectations. The fact that you like putting on make-up because it makes you feel like a movie star is a bit…shallow? (Unless you actually perform and like the pre-performance buzz of make-up application, I love that). The media has too much power over our images of ourselves. Don’t condone them for it!

    Some guys actually say things like this in true admiration. Don’t get too angry and forget that we ARE naturally equipped to snag mates, too. Don’t bite his head off for enjoying it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/skip.stealey Skip Stealey

    Being male, I have no idea why a person wants to alter their appearance. Women, I would love to hear someone explain why you want to wear makeup to the degree so many do. I understand and agree its your right to do it, I am just very curious why. Other than lipstick, which my beautiful late wife told me kept her lips moist, I don’t understand the need.

    • http://www.facebook.com/skip.stealey Skip Stealey

      Yes, I asked my late wife once in our 22 years together. She said it was because she wanted to. Since I loved her for many reasons OTHER than her beauty, I shut up. I am just curious why the need exists to alter your appearance.

    • Allana

      Well, concealer/foundation is used hide dark circles under your eyes, blotchy colour on the skin and any pimples you have, which are generally assumed to mean your not healthy/takeing care of yourself/getting old. Lipstick of course moistures the lips and can make a girl look older or a woman look younger. Eyeliner and mascara can emphasize the eye and make it look bigger. This one is actually a human thing, we seem to be programmed to find larger eyes more attractive, even on yourself. Also mascara can help if you have pale eyelashes since it often looks weird if you don’t seem to have any eyelashes at all.
      Beyond that, the crazy colours, the weird contouring (adding shadows where none exist tochange the face’s shape) etc., are all extra and chosen to attract attention, like adding a custom paint job to your car. Sometimes it’s just a few cool flames and sometimes we decide to paint our faces up like an 80′s sci-fi mural on the side of a van. :)

    • MJ

      I can only speak for myself, obviously, but for me there’s no “need”. It’s just fun! I like playing around with the colors, I like matching my makeup to what I’m wearing, and I love trying out all the different combinations. Some days I want to look more elegant, some days I want to look more sexy, some days I want to look more lighthearted/silly. It depends on how I’m feeling, what the occasion is, and what my plans are. It’s the same reason I wear the shoes that I wear, the dresses/skirts/outfits I wear, the earrings I wear, or do my nails the way I do. I like the way it looks, and it’s fun for me.

  • Jane

    What a dumb article. How could you take something positive like men not liking makeup on women and turn it into something negative. What’s next? Enlightened, feminist men telling women they don’t have to shave, and then you responding “fuck you, i’m shaving. and no i’m not brainwashed by my culture into shaving”. Give me a break, so ridiculous.

    • anon

      the issue is men thinking we need their approval to validate our existence.
      “ooh some random guy on the internet gets his boners from my natural face/small boobs/big boobs/big hips/small arse/giant wart, etc. i can now run off and live happily ever after”

  • Brie B.

    On the other hand, I do think it’s ridiculous that women, and women alone, are expected to spend their money and time on makeup in order to look “professional”. Obviously, any woman (or man) who wants to spend their money and time on it has my blessing, but the expectation in the professional world of wearing makeup doesn’t sit well with me.

  • Sandy

    its funny, most times I heard a man say “look at her, thats natural beauty!” I look over and I can spot te foundation, the blusher, the concealer, the lipstick, the brow powder- the whole shadang. When makeup is done right, you wont notice it. well woman will, because were sorta trained to spot it :p

  • ekestone

    One man does not speak for all men! What an absurd assumption is being made here!

    I can understand different personal preferences about details like gloss lipstick. But other than that, I think some men are intimidated by attractive women – and they would prefer the woman they’re with to be as plain as possible. It’s a form of control.

    Make up, along with things such as perfume and fashion, are a natural form of self expression. Go ahead, express yourself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dan.eff.9 Dan Eff

    Never have I heard “one of the boys” say
    “If only she had some makeup she’d be beautiful.”

    I have heard, many times,
    “Scrub the war paint off her and she’d be much prettier.”

    So, ladies, why hide behind a mask the beauty God gave you?

    PS Ugly is ugly no matter how much goop and bondo you lather on.
    Ugly with a bad paint job is double ugly.

  • Lisa

    (Oh my, sooooo sorry this is so long….guess I had a lot to say and hope it makes sense!)

    I’m a certified/trained image consultant and my back ground also consists of live theater, odds and ends movie/video jobs, and work as a commercial print model in NYC. Yes, make up, and heavily so most of the time, is needed for those types of jobs in my professional life. However, in my personal life I like to take a break from most of that. I do like to start my day off with a quick two minute make up time because a routine helps get me going for the day. I have been blessed with very nice skin, not always blemish free but a natural healthy glow to, it so I don’t put on any kind of foundation (besides the fact that I can’t stand the feel of it on my face). But I do focus on my eyes/eyebrows and what make up I put on is put on there, but I put it on lightly. I do not wear lipstick/gloss on my lips but maybe a small amount of chapstick to keep them moist.

    I am 50 yo and a single mom of five minor children so I am not young (I have crows feet, lol, but my neck is still good!) and I don’t have a lot of time anyway for spending on make up application so it’s a good thing I don’t wear much and that I am super fast at applying what I do wear, lol. But do I date? Oh, you bet!! All cleaned up and spending twenty minutes on my make up, I can look as good as Cindy Crawford. But I don’t do that unless I’m going to an upscale evening event or gala. Instead I put on little make up and look like a very good version of MYSELF and I’m very comfortable, and feel honest, with that…..and so are the many men that I date. (If I am doing the hiking/camping thing or water events I don’t put on any makeup at all).

    But maybe the most important part, and what I really want to say, of what I consider my make up regime is my perfume: what kind, how much, where I apply it on my body. I absolutely hate it when I have to be in a close proximity with a woman (or man for that matter) who is drenched with perfume (cologne). I find it offensive, detracting, and a sense of olfactory repulsion. We all know about pheromones. Let your pheromones free ladies!!

    I say this with amazement but also with a chuckle: I can’t tell you how many times a man has mentioned how nice I smell, comes closer…takes a whiff of my hand, then up my arm, and then nestles his nose in the crook of my neck…breathing me in deeply. Lol, I first thought it was men being too overly complimentary…insincere in their olfactory moments, trying to get close enough to kiss me. But no, it is really a sincere attraction/olfactory event happening. So ladies….if you want to talk natural please leave the perfume in the bottle, for the most part anyway. As an image consultant, I can tell you that the majority of a first impression is nonverbal….so smell does count in the world of love. That goes for men too. A date who has sprayed himself ten times with his manly cologne makes me want to ask him to go wash it off. But a man with just a bit on, where catching a whiff here and there is a total turn on.

    One last thing about being natural with make up: As I already stated, for my normal day and normal dates I do not apply make up, just some small amount of nice tasting moisturizer. I try to imagine how my lips might look/taste to a man who wants to kiss me. Would a man want to kiss a gooey mass? I wouldn’t if I was a man. Again, I can’t tell you how many times I have been told my lips are warm and so soft. Seems to be such an attraction for the men, lol, and I’m not going to change a thing!

    Just be happy and do it how you like. As a middle aged woman I will tell you that you will change how you do your make up as the decades fly by. Be happy with you!

    • Jessica Miller

      That was some A+ humble bragging.

  • jrointheflo

    I just ran across this article, and I have to say THANK YOU. Like many other comments posted here, I agree that when men say they like “natural beauty”, they like clear skin, long lashes, plump lips, and rosy cheeks. A lot of us do not possess these qualities straight out of bed! What these men really want is for you to be genetically lucky. I would love not to feel the need to wear foundation out in public everyday, but alas, I have terrible skin. I do everything you should to keep it clear and see a dermatologist every 6 weeks, so it’s better than it was, but I have a lot of residual red scarring that’s not going away without expensive laser treatments or time. So I wear make-up to look “naturally beautiful”. Usually just foundation, concealer and a little blush. I did get genetically lucky with the eyelashes and lips, so just clear gloss works there. But trust me, I need to wear make-up to appear conventionally pretty. Men who say they want natural beauty just mean they don’t want you to look like a drag queen. Although I have to say that Ru Paul looks fierce!

  • Alan

    I’m a man and I couldn’t care less if a woman wears make up or not. That’s her choice. And it’s my choice to label her. Label her as a fake person. because make up is fake. and fake people do fake things just like crazy people do crazy things and nice people do nice things. Fake people do fake things. And so wear it all you want but I would never trust you with anything. And I’m not even talking about trying to date you! I mean trusting you with anything! my taxes, to babysit my kids, or to tell the truth about anything. Because you are “fake” and fake means “lying”. And liars can’t be trusted with anything. How can you be fake but want a real man?

    • Jessica Miller

      … You have trust issues. I hope you get help so you can live a happier life.

  • Camilla

    Ugh I hate all these “men like you to do this and that” articles, where men think they are helping, but they are really missing the point.
    I wear make-up almost daily and if someone told me, “but you look so pretty without make-up” I would tell them to go fuck themselves.