Our Stupid New Year’s Resolutions

calvin and hobbes

New Years happened. It was stupid. Like it is, every year. Here at The Gloss, we are professional drinkers and so regard New Years as an acceptable excuse to get drunk at best (but really, to stay in and order takeout). Here, editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff discuss their ambivalence about the practice of resolutions, what awful children they were and Michael Crichton.

Jennifer:  I don’t like it when people resolve to work out more, because they take up the space in the gym. And I don’t like it when they resolve to eat healthy, either, because why does Whole Foods have no blueberries? Because they ate all the blueberries. And the pancetta, I guess.

Ashley:  You know, I was going to respond to your first point but then you went off the rails. And Whole Foods isn’t out of blueberries.

Jennifer:  It could be. It probably will be, soon, if these resolvers keep going the way they’re going

Ashley:  Well, I don’t see Whole Foods running out of blueberries anytime soon, but… I do relate to spending a lot of time at the gym every January waiting for a machine.

Jennifer:  And also the pancetta?

Ashley:  You do know what pancetta is, right?

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