Prince Harry Seems Really Not Fun To Date

town and country prince harry

Prince Harry is on the cover of Town & Country. Town & Country is probably my favorite magazine, because it once contained a line which read something to the effect of, “when I travel to Paris, I prefer people ask me the neighborhood I’ll be staying in rather than the hotel. The latter always seems to beg the response “The Ritz, I know of no other location.”

I want to live inside Town & Country, I really do.

I also take comfort knowing that someone will be ahead of me in the tumbrils.

I assume Prince Harry is the world’s most eligible bachelor, but, more and more, I’m just not feeling it. Not that I have anything against Prince Harry, I mean, he seems fine. But he does seem like that rough-and-tumble specimen of British masculinity whose idea of a good first date is getting drunk, playing darts and having sex, probably in a bathroom. I don’t really go in for that. I mean, I don’t think there’s really ever a circumstance where I’d want to have sex in a bathroom, or, for that matter, play darts. Maybe I would want to play darts if there was a large cash prize and every single other player was legally blind, but I don’t think that’s about liking darts. I think that’s more about liking money.

So, I think since Harry does not really seem like he would be into, I don’t know, drinking in pleasant hotel bars and having sex in bed after a reasonable amount of time, our relationship is pretty doomed.

Honestly, I don’t think anyone who reads Town & Country would enjoy darts. I will amend my earlier statement to say that I would be enthusiastic about the prospect of darts only if meant playing against the legally blind or against avid readers of Town & Country.

But! Prince Harry. Probably the world’s most eligible bachelor. I would prefer that, oh, I don’t know, A David Niven type were the world’s most eligible bachelor, but that is probably  evidence that I have to go back to work on my time machine. Everything is always evidence that I have to work harder on the time machine. But surely someone can top Prince Harry? Your turn, go, who?

I’ve got nothing on this, incidentally. I’m going to go work on my dart game.

Picture via Town and Country, via @emilydecampo

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    • JennyWren

      Agreed. Harry seems to be stuck in the phase young men go through when they first go to university, when all they really want to do is get plastered, hang around with their mates and lie about how much sex they’ve had, and when they think stealing a policeman’s helmet is the height of hilarity.

      Which is probably a right of passage and not so objectionable in it’s own right, and goodness’ knows he’s got no real impetus to mature, but he’s almost thirty now and it’s not that cute any more. I think there’s probably a very good-natured and conscientious man under there- he always seems to do much better when he’s active with the army- but he needs to grow up.

    • Helen

      Laughing my ass off at the awkwardness that “getting drunk, playing darts and having sex, probably in a bathroom.” was essentially my first date with my last boyfriend. Who was British. Good times!