As you may already know because I mention it like twice a week, I just moved to Portland on December 31st. I’m settling in nicely, live in a great house and have only seen one spider in my room, so life is pretty great physical comfort-wise. Having never been here and knowing no one when I arrived, I was fairly nervous about meeting people here. Having been here a week, it’s safe to say that I am now sufficiently terrified. I have finally come to the conclusion that I have very little idea how to make friends as an adult besides via osmosis (i.e. friends of friends).
It’s not that I don’t have friends elsewhere or am particularly lonely. I Skype regularly with my close friends in California from college and frequently text those I’m tight with in New York — hell, you even know some of ‘em — and there are plenty of others all over the country/world. But somehow, I never met anybody who presently lives in Portland. I have all sorts of friends from here who tell me to look up so-and-so or go to such-and-so bar and ask for some guy, but I’m just not one of those people who can call up a complete stranger and go on some kind of blind friendship date.
Fortunately, I have a nice roommate who has so far introduced me to some people, but I’m not good at talking to new folks. While I’m talkative and (mostly) friendly and able to discuss myself openly on the Interwebz, I am very different in person.
Well, actually, I’m only completely different until you get to know me, and then I’m pretty much exactly the same (fact: I speak entirely in GIFs). But when I’m first getting to know people, I’m all…