A Field Guide To Puking

puking

Barf, hurl, vomit or puke — it’s called throwing up, but it really brings me down. Even if you have a friend who swears she will always be there to hold your hair back, sooner or later we all barf on ourselves. It happens to everyone, particularly after a night of too little food and too much whiskey.

Consider this guide an experienced expert’s list of best practices. (I’ve puked badly so you won’t have to.) And remember: to barf is human, to pass out in ones own bed afterward is divine.

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    • li la lo

      fucking loved this. hilarious!!!

    • ChemGrl

      Beautiful. Right there with you on the butt vs. piss choice.

    • Natalie

      As someone with a stomach condition who throws up all the time because… that’s my life… this was hilarious. I’d like to add that if you feel slightly nauseous or sorta like “this night isn’t going to end well” it’s good to stake out where the bathroom is and position yourself within darting distance. I can look buildings and knowing EXACTLY where the bathroom is and how long it will take me to hand-covering-mouth-shuffle to it. It’s a gift.

    • Brittany D

      OR Don’t get wasted in the first place. Then you don’t have to worry about puking. Duh.

    • mm

      I just had the stomach flu and puked in the bathtub while I was in it taking a bath to try to calm my stomach. Don’t do that. It’s as unpleasant as it sounds, and it clogs the drain.