First of all, I apologize for the silly TMZ-esque Gaga vs. Kelly picture I put together. It was mostly because I imagined that their little feud is entirely based on Lady Gaga deeply despising peplums and giving Kelly Osbourne the finger (or Ladyfinger, one might say) via hair flip, claws included. Unfortunately, this is a significantly less marvelous tale of famous person versus other famous person — I know, life isn’t fair and yes, fuck peplums — but it’s still a celebrity fight so we can’t help but get curious, right?
In an interview with Fabulous wherein Osbourne plays a troll with pinkeye, she had some choice words on the subject of being continuously fat-shamed regardless of her weight loss (ia problem in and of itself), particularly by a certain Mother Monster’s supporters:
“I get called fat all the time. A big fat whore. Lady Gaga’s fans are the worst. They’ve said I should kill myself, that they hope I get raped. I mean it’s crazy but I’ve had this all my life and I just try and ignore it.”
After that, more drama unfolded on Lady Gaga’s blog after she wrote an open letter to Osbourne criticizing her for, well, criticizing people:
“It used to make me truly sad when I would hear people talk about your weight when you were younger, as I was bullied too. To see you blossoming into a beautiful slender woman who makes fun of others for a living is astounding. Why not help others?… Your work on E! with the Fashion Police is rooted in criticism, judgment, and rating people’s beauty against one another. Appearance’ is the most used reason for bullying in the world.”
Does anybody else feel like Lady Gaga is implying that when Kelly Osbourne was heavier, she wasn’t beautiful? But now that she’s lost weight, she’s “blossoming”? Then again, Gaga has a knack for delivering backhanded compliments toward people about their weights.
But portions of her argument are not entirely baseless: as Fabulous pointed out, Osbourne has said some vapid, rude things about Gaga, including that she’s a “butterface” (you’d think somebody trained by Joan Rivers would be more creative, but c’est la vie) as well as speculating that she looked pregnant after gaining weight. But on that subject, Osbourne pleads the, “I’M JUS BEING HONEST, GEEZ” card.
“I have no filter,” she shrieks. “I say what I think and that’s it. I actually think she’s a good singer but she has the worst fans in the world and you have a responsibility to stop that. I think you do anyway.”
Yes, because it’s totally rational for you to perpetuate criticizing women’s appearances to your fans, but then get pissed off when somebody else’s team calls you an asshole and expect a celebrity — one with a Twitter following larger than the populations of Texas and Colorado combined — to control all of those people who are dicks on the Internet? Good luck with that one, dear. Also, again, good on you with the backhanded compliments; celebrities are so good at these, it seems!
I am obviously not excusing the wishes of rape upon anybody, ever. And calling somebody a “fat whore” is a terrible thing to say, not to mention painfully banal on the insult originality scale. But I do think that feeling entitled to say cruel things about other people, then wondering why people say cruel things about you is rather stupid. In any case, I think that it’s safe to say both parties will continue being sassy at one another until each shuts up (thus allowing neither to admit defeat, accept guilt or offer an apology).
It’s times like these that I wish Celebrity Deathmatch was still on the air. Imagine the clay hair colors!
Photo: Kadena Press/WENN.com