• Fri, Jan 11 2013

How To Recover When You Stumble Upon Naked Photos Of Your Parents

recliningwoman“My mom asked me to get something from her drawer and as I moved away her socks, I saw all these naked photos of her in a bathtub,” said my friend Ayanna the other night.

“Like on her phone?” I asked.

“No, Polaroids from forever ago, but still — there they were for me to see. I didn’t say anything, but was tempted to toss them on her bed passive aggressively.”

“Obviously she didn’t want you to find them… she must have forgotten,” I explained, but it didn’t matter. The damage had been done, she saw a photo of her mother staring seductively into the camera from a bubble bath and there was no erasing that memory.

This may be shocking, but it’s not as though teenagers and 20-somethings have cornered the market on naked photos. And with everyone running around with their iPhones these days, you better believe mom and dad have probably sent each other a naughty photo once or twice, even if it was only to give sexting a try.

So if you can’t have that part of your brain removed, how does one recover?

Tell your parents. If you have the balls, tell your parents what you found. If you had to feel that awkward, maybe you should share that awkwardness so they know that you’re suffering.

Ignore it. Shove your fingers in your ears, close your eyes and loudly sing “La la la!” over and over again until the pain goes away.

Tell a friend. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with something when you’ve shared it with someone else. There’s no sense in sitting alone with something that has horrified you when you can easily share the love.

Consider an art project. How great would it be to put those photos in a frame for mom and dad?

Fucking grow up. Your parents are human, your parents are sexual and yes, somewhere along the line they probably posed for a “sexy” photo. That’s just what people do sometimes, and you know you’ve probably done it, too. You may not have wanted to ever see it or even know it happened, but you did, so get over it.

Besides, maybe you can get some posing tips from whatever you accidentally find. Ugh. 

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  • JennyWren

    I would just love to hear a parent’s response to being told you found their photos. I sincerely hope it would be along the lines of “Oh yeah, didn’t I look great back then?”

    • Breezy

      Pretty sure that’s the route mine would take. She likes to frequently quote Cartman: “Whateva! Whateva! It’s my hot body, I do what I want!”

      I don’t think she’s ever seen South Park, so I’m not exactly sure where she is getting that from. Perhaps I don’t want to know.

  • lucygoosey74

    Yeah, finding naked photos of the P’s would definitely freak me out. I’m convinced that they’ve only had sex twice, once to conceive me and once to conceive my brother. Don’t even try to convince me otherwise, I’ll stick my fingers in my ears and lalala my little heart out.