• Mon, Jan 14 2013

Entirely Too Many Famous Actresses Attended The Creepy Tom Cruise Wife Auditions


“She gets a ’5′. SEND HER TO THE DUNGEONS.”

In the event you are an actor for some incomprehensible reason, I suggest you never attend an audition that is held at anything related to Scientology. Why? Because it’s creepy and you might wind up being somebody’s wife or girlfriend without realizing that you were even trying out for such a role. It’s almost like method acting, except you wind up with Tom Cruise and don’t get to return to real life after. Now, when Tom had a little rough streak after Penelope Cruz allegedly failed to convert to Scientology, the church supposedly started holding auditions for new spouses, as we reported a few months ago. This would’ve been weird in and of itself, but Tom Cruise wife auditions were held under creepy false pretenses which makes it fifty times stranger — and, according to a new book, involved hella famous actresses.

Earlier, we mentioned that Lindsay Lohan was auditioned in 2004 for a role in Mission: Impossible, only there was no movie. In Pulitzer Prize-winning author Lawrence Wright’s book, Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood and the Prison Belief, Wright examines the serious weirdness that was those wife auditions. According to him, they were held at the religion’s Celebrity Center — which they seriously have, by the way — with some senior members of the church doing “unusual casting couch-style marriage interviews” in an attempt to find Cruise a new ladyfriend.

A few of these women auditioned included some very high-profile actresses, including Lohan — who was 18 at the time because things just had to get creepier! — as well as Jessica AlbaScarlett Johansson and Kate Bosworth. But then Cruise found Katie Holmes, got publicly obsessed with her and the rest is history.

I love history.

Of course, the church is denying anything of this nature, but so far, the Internet has collectively responded with a, “Lol sure.” But at the very least, I have a feeling the very few famous actresses (or rational human beings, for that matter) will be attending any form of audition at the church’s Celebrity Center for Misleading Women into Dating Crazy People.

Photo: WENN.com

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  • Legend2012

    People give it a rest.
    You really have no reason to dislike him. Besides, whether you do or not, America is
    not the only movie consumers, the world has opened up and he is internationally
    known and beloved. And I work at public
    place and know that he has massive amount of fans besides you few idiots that
    keep trying to ruin his reputation and career with these stupid comments and
    innuendos. We are not a society of
    MOBS. Our constitution is built on
    individuality and the right to chose liberty, justice and pursuit of
    happiness. That’s what makes us American
    and our country the greatest. Besides if
    we start hating people for what the worship or believe, then where’s the line. Are we going back to slavery, hating people
    for their skin color? American, don’t
    let hate ruin our great nation.

  • Live&letlive

    So this whole article is telling me that women are
    desperate, fame whoring, idiots. And the
    Holmes family is even more stupid. So,
    basically then Martin Holmes sold his daughter for the sake of fame. THIS IS WHY OUR COUNTRY IS IN THE DUMPS,
    PEOPLE HAVE SIMPLY LOST THE ABILITY TO THINK, COMMON SENSE IS DEAD. We are all just drones of social media and
    gossip mags. WTF is individual
    reasoning? Here’s the truth MF’S, ALL
    DATES ARE AUDITIONS. So some aspiring
    talent is trying to grab on to a big movies star and is cut off, he’s not into
    you, she cries fowl and we tie into scientology. Holly $shit people, we cannot be this
    dumb. This is scary that people believe
    this $shit, what does that say about us as a country. This is some really, really stupid thing to
    believe. People see a movie called
    “IDIOCRACY” starring Luke Wilson.

  • Thistooshallpass

    For idiots that don’t know, a marriage contract is called a
    pre-nup – like in prenuptial agreement between potential spouses. And to date or court someone’s means to
    interview or audition them to see how they would fit into your life and family
    before your commit. Now, I know this is
    hard to comprehend b/c of the low brain cells that read these gossip mags, but
    try very hard to process this information.
    Of course we don’t announce that we are “auditioning” you as has said,
    but don’t we all make mental notes of what we like in that person or not, what
    we can live with or not, ect. Now we all
    know that hoe’s come to HW to grab onto what they can and are willing to suck
    and spread it everywhere to get a break, so give me a freaking break. What whore with no acting credits in HW and
    can’t speak English thinks she’s being “auditioned” to star in a movie with the
    biggest star in HW? WTF is more

  • Whitedwarf

    It’s not that I am advocating for scientology, but my fear
    is where the LINE is. What’s next, are
    we going to ask all Muslim actors to give up their religion, how about Jewish
    actors, Hindi actors, seventh day Adventist, Mormon actors. My God, where’s the line. I also feel the more we promote this hate
    fest, the more we diminish AMERICA and our CONSTITUTION and BILL of RIGHTS. Like it or not, cult or no cult, in USA we
    are all allowed to CHOSE. You can worship
    a tree, a goat, a rat, a cow whatever, you form a cult even. But that’s the beauty and the STRENGTH of
    our country. May God help us not lose
    sight of that?

  • choocho

    Wow, four Scientology OSA socks commenting on this article

    • Amy

      I know, it’s so sad. They should just declare it a cult already and start arresting the people in charge. I keep waiting for the mass suicide (with the recorded video message from Cruise talking about how they’ve all gone to Narnia, or wherever it is Scientologists go when they die).

    • Hismet

      Now THAT is a comment exhibiting very low intellect…just sayin’.

  • simplenow

    yeah what’s funny is you can spot them at glance just by the paragraph text. Most likely the same person posting 4 times in a row.. pretty damn funny.

    Not sure what is more sad.. Cruise’s fall from grace or the people who have nothing better to do under the CoS cult but to sit and foolishily refute gossip rags as if most people considered the rags “serious business” anyway..

    Amusingly, they end up actually making the rags appear more legit on these topics whilst thinking they are being clever and disguising their posts as the “average joe”

  • Hismet

    What a really silly article. No condtroversy there, but you’re trying real hard, along with the rest of the Creepy Media. Just flap away on your bat wings and leave the rest of us alone.

  • 6797777

    This is more crap , sure it’s a cult and so is every other religion. So Tom did this and that, big deal. For sure what he has done is stand up top big Pharma . Looks like he was right after all these horrific shootings by young men on drugs from their psychiatrists. Not a Scientologist , but I know a smear when I see it.