Harlotry: On The Cheapskate Regulars Who Waste A Stripper’s Time


Zombie Strippers

In every strip club there are time wasters.

These guys are often regulars who come day after day or night after night, but rarely tip and never buy dances. They survive on a diet of cheap alcohol, the attentions of new girls who don’t know any better, and baleful glances from the women who have established themselves at the club and know their M.O.

I keep mentioning the strangeness of the strip club world where women pursue men who sit back and wait to be courted, but it cannot be overstated. Unfortunately it’s exactly this role reversal that brings out the time wasters. They don’t have to worry about impressing anyone. In fact, the less impressive they appear, the more likely they are to be approached by the beautiful, scantily-clad women who wander the club.

Everyone who’s ever gone to a strip club hoping to learn about the dynamic between customers and strippers feels the need to point out the obvious: strip clubs exist mainly so their patrons can feel really special. Thanks. A lot of intrepid observers go a step further and point out that ha ha, the customers aren’t really that special because they are paying the dancers! Anyone with an equal amount of money could achieve the same result! Every time I read an article that gloats over the fact that customers pay strippers, I suspect the writer is a time-waster.

Time wasters, you see, are better than the average strip club patron.

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    • jamiepeck

      I think you are spot-on about these guys. Or at least about some of them. Now I’m kind of bummed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcVeagh Matthew McVeagh

      Extra credits for mentioning the Groke and the Moomin books! Some of my absolute favourite literature, ever.

      As for why those guys don’t pay for anything, how about because they don’t have much money and can’t afford it? That’d be why I wouldn’t. But then I therefore wouldn’t go to the club in the first place, besides the fact this just isn’t something I want.

      It’s a fact that heterosexual men enjoy just looking at or being around attractive or scantily-clad women, without actually having sex. :) Or other kinds of sexual contact such as lap-dancing.

      They could be shy. They could be inhibited. They could be ambivalent. Hell they could be in a relationship and trying to be faithful, drawing a line between viewing and lap-dancing where other people would draw the line elsewhere.

    • Amy

      Look, I’m sure that this is your perspective (obviously, since you’re the one writing it) but it seems really kind of presumptuous to me. There is no obligation for a guy who goes into a strip club to buy a dance. They usually have to pay a cover charge which can be quite steep and then they pay fairly high drink prices. The strippers are there to lure customers in but there’s no requirement for them to buy additional services – that’s a bonus for the stripper and the club.

      Customers are perfectly entitled to go in and enjoy the main shows or just the presence of the strippers. You sound really mercenary and entitled when you go on about what assholes they are because they won’t give you more money even though they’re not interested in getting a lapdance from you. It would be different if they were trying to get you to give them free lapdances but they’re not – they’re just going to a strip club and enjoying it.
      It seems like you’re just annoyed because YOU waste the time trying to sell them something they’re not interested in buying. That’s like being a fitness instructor who calls people using the gym assholes because they won’t buy a personal training session from you. They’re not required to, they just want to come to the gym.

      • Andrea

        I don’t know how strippers are paid, but I suspect it is a lot like waitresses? Meaning the actual paycheck is nothing and most of the money comes from tips. So I guess it is the same thing as going to a restaurant. No, you aren’t REQUIRED to tip, you just gotta pay for meal….but a waitress is gonna be mega pissed if you stiff her.

        The again, WTF do I know..I have always found strip clubs puzzling. I can’t figure out why anyone would pay to watch nearly naked women dance..women they are only allowed to look at and never touch. By the time they paid for the cover charge, and the drinks, and the lap dance(s), they might as well pay for a prostitute and get actually laid.

      • A Stripper

        Strippers are actually required to pay the club to work there. Anyone who goes into a club regularly knows this, and they also know that for strippers, time is money. That’s why regulars who don’t spend money on strippers are seen as assholes. They often pretend that they are going to spend money soon, but they never do. Although they are not required to buy lapdances, they are annoying to the dancers because usually they end up taking a good amount of time away from them before they realize, “This man is not going to spend money on me.”

      • former dancer

        Exactly. It still surprises me that guys don’t realize the gals have to pay sometimes upwards of $200 a NIGHT to work at a club. Until they make that – in tips, gentlemen! – they don’t *even* break even. Perhaps, the gentleman who made the comment that he didn’t see why guys should pay for dances when they can just sit & drink and watch, should view it more like public radio. If you enjoy the service, demonstrate it. Tip the ladies. You’re at play, but realize please that they’re at work, and you’re at their job.

      • Locket

        No, it would be like going to a gym for a sandwich. If you aren’t interested in using any gym equipment, why not just go to a restaurant? And why go to a strip club if you don’t want to bother with any strippers?

        Like another commenter pointed out, dancers pay to come to work. We don’t expect everyone to get a dance, but don’t show up to the potluck without at least bringing some damn chips, aka throwing a few dollars on stage once in a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/joe.hammerand Joe Hammerand

      thank you ~~~~~amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Tess

      You said: “until I figure out why they hang out at strip clubs without availing
      themselves of any of the services that make strip clubs different from
      bars[...]” AND “Time wasters, you see, are better than the average strip club patron.”

      There’s your answer. Their loneliness may be able to kill flowers, but as long as they never spend money on the dancers, then they’re “better than those losers” who actually *do* “have to” pay for women’s attention.
      At least that’s my guess.

      ~ Tess.