• Tue, Jan 15 2013

7 Things Every Woman Should Know About The Bro Code

0 coverThe bro code is stupid. It encourages immaturity and misogyny by diminishing women. If a guy mentions the bro code with any hint of sincerity, it’s a red flag that screams, “I do not respect women! I like to chug beer! I am afraid of intimacy and wish my mother would still fold my laundry!”

Not familiar with the rulebook known as the bro code? Here are seven things about the bro code you should know.

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  • Helen

    I am actually in full agrement with beer-related rules. But then, they’re mostly common courtesy. And also meant to prevent waste (no one likes warm beer…except my one friend who does and who everyone agrees is an anomaly).

    • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcVeagh Matthew McVeagh

      I suspect what you’re calling warm beer is room-temperature beer, which was the temperature all beer was drunk and enjoyed at until refrigeration in the 20th century when suddenly for some reason America developed this insistence on not being able to taste and risking brain-freeze and tooth sensitivity.

    • Helen

      Brain-freeze and tooth sensitivity? Dude, how cold is the beer your bros are drinking? There shouldn’t be icebergs floating in that ish.

      But whatever, you go ahead and drink your room-temperature to warm alcoholic beverages as our forefathers clearly intended.

    • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcVeagh Matthew McVeagh

      OK I will go ahead do that – and it is never ‘warm’ unless it has been out in the rare British summer sun or has been sitting near a radiator or the back of a fridge etc. because ‘warm’ implies warmer than room temperature (the temperature most things will gravitate towards if kept indoors and not subjected to direct heating of some kind). Mulled wine would be an example of a warm alcoholic beverage.

      I don’t know from experience what chilled beer is like because I don’t drink it but I have heard complaints from Europeans about the dearth of non-chilled beer in the USA when they visit and the effects on their mouth of what they are forced to drink. Altho there is actually a huge microbrewing scene in America now, I would hope all the proponents of that don’t chill their product. But yeah… no icebergs, that should only be for cocktails.

  • Lastango

    Sooo… you’re saying one of the seven most important things to know about the Bro Code is that there actually is no Bro Code.
    Then why would anyone need to know the other six?

    • Ms. Pants

      First rule of Fight Club is….

    • Lastango

      Shhhhhh. I’m on a secret mission to help drunk punks in bars bang the hottest women.

      Well, to help Bros talk about banging the hottest women, if they could. They promised to buy me a beer.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=699618735 Cara Crowes

      Exactly! They only bring up the bro-code for convenience. I don’t know anybody that follows that shit.

  • Ms. Pants

    Are the three pictured in the first photo considered “bros?” Cos they look like freshly formed sperm, they’re so fucking young.

  • Cricket

    I prefer “ovaries before brovaries” or “uteruses before duderuses”.

    • anon

      I was literally about to comment with this… #leslieknopeproblems

  • Ash

    Wow, you do realize that the Bro Code is a term -made up- by Barney, right? And that the book is a satire? More than that, none of these are that bad, certainly not bad enough to get worked up about. Get the fuck over yourself. You are no one to complain about sexism when you obviously hate men so much. I mean, “Seriously, dudes these days can’t even stick to the ten commandments, how in the hell do you expect them to pass up sex with some attractive woman his now-married friend dated eight years ago?” What’s wrong with you?

  • Emma

    Maybe it should be “chicks before pricks” ??

    • Guest

      Which is an easy thing to do, since most men suck in bed anyways

  • werawful

    I don’t you can criticize the Bro code with the fact that some guys will hook up with their friend’s ex’s. We’re all adults and we should be able to have sex with whomever you’d like, regardless of who dated them “eight years ago”. You can’t criticize calling “dibs” and then admit that there is some rule about having to avoid someone your buddy Steve dated in high school. We’re adults, and the Bro code is not a serious thing.

    • werawful

      *I don’t see how you can criticize…

  • deniz zen

    THE GLOSS is juST A FEMINIST TOILETRAG OF A BULLETIN pretendingto be a regular website , THE GLOSS IS JUST A FEMINIST INFESTED GUTTER which is why the didnt publish the retarded antics of feminists like laughing at male victims of castration and prison rape , i think men should pay back the femtards in their own coin and laugh at feminists who get raped or stabbed in their vagina !

    • deniz zen

      AND YEAH FUCK FEMINISM , THREE CHEERS FOR THE BROS !

    • Guest

      Ladies and gents, here is the perfect example of a male that follows the bro code! An illiterate idiot that obviously dropped out of kindergarten (which isn’t possible but this brotard makes it seem like it could be). If only your mother had known more about feminism at her age and cut your misogynist ass out of her womb lol. Rape is nothing to laugh at, but of course your simple mind thinks otherwise. Though I’m certain you have died by now due to your ignorance (though I hope you have, Lord have mercy on the brain dead children you may have spawned through lies and rape), I just want to say if you are still alive, I hope you have been fixed. You cowardly little bitch :)