Jennifer Aniston May Never Wind Up Pregnant And We Will All Have To Deal


There are three great questions the world over: “Why are we here?” “Is there life after death?” and “Is Jennifer Aniston pregnant?”

Full disclosure before I begin: I have never been a huge Jennifer Aniston fan. It has nothing to do with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie; I’m not one of those people who takes it super personally when vaguely explained romantic situations pertaining to celebrities occur (because I think that’s stupid). It’s not that I don’t think Aniston is a decent actress sometimes. She’s been both lucky and unlucky enough to have achieved extraordinary success via one longterm role, thus making that what she’s known for…forever. She’ll never get other roles or be taken seriously in other genres besides comedy as the quirky, needs-a-life-change ingenue whose hair will never not be golden blonde.

And therein lies the issue the world has with Jennifer Aniston: she’s been stuck in a role and very few people want to let her out of it. After the Brangelina debacle in which the media portrayed Aniston for the next, oh, always and forever as this scorned woman when, in fact, she’s an extremely successful, attractive millionaire who can date just about anybody she wants, if she wants. Never mind her achievements, though. Forget that she received literally a million dollars for single episodes of Friends, or that she’s won several acting awards or that she’s been repeatedly cited as one of the “hottest women in the world.”

No, what matters is that seven years ago, she and Brad Pitt broke up after being Hollywood’s golden couple, then Pitt retook that title with Angelina Jolie and the rest is history. Actually, it would be history if people would stop referring it is as though Aniston’s life ended the day her marriage to a fellow successful, attractive famous person ended, but alas, no luck: Jennifer Aniston has been cursed with the concern trolling masses of the media for nearly a decade, and I haven’t seen it slowing down any time recently.

For a long time, the pseudo-caring comments were regarding marriage; both tabloids and legitimate media sources would constantly ask when Jen will be getting married, why Jen is not yet married and if Jen will never marry again because her ~*one twue lub*~ is Brad Pitt. She, of course, denied this with a very to-the-point statement: ““I have no plan to get married. Got that?” But how will she get her happy ending?, they cried. After all, the only happy endings for women are marriage, right? Not career success or any other kind; no, personal happiness can apparently only come in the form of a ring.

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    • DebMoore


    • meteor_echo

      Jeez, she’s childfree, and not like she never talked about not wanting kids.