On Wednesdays, Amanda Chatel will be sharing stories about her strange, fascinating and sometimes wonderful dating life. If it makes you want to date, check out TheGloss dating page.
My sincerest apologies on being a day late on the Dating Hijinks this week! To make up for it, we’re going to have another round of a “modern day” love story. What constitutes a modern day love story? One that involves social media, of course.
Remember how Francesca met her fiancé thanks to Twitter? Well, this week we have Colleen’s tale of how she met her husband on Facebook. As you’ll see, not only is social media the way to find love these days, but sometimes being a complete asshole in the comment section of your friend’s Facebook page can actually be beneficial to your love life.
I’m kind of an asshole. I’m the girl who makes the most snarky comments on a friend’s Facebook page, and they are usually legitimately hilarious. In this instance, I was responding to a stranger’s witty remark on a friend’s page, which sparked a comment conversation between myself and this incredibly beautiful man whom I did not know.
Later that day, he sent me a friend request and I accepted. What happened next was a month or so of long Facebook chat conversations, long text conversations, and absolutely nothing else. He was so hot, and I was so self-conscious about my interactions with men. This was after the Lego Man and after a number of other poor life choices that had left me certain that I’d never find a decent guy. So as we flirted and texted, in my head I thought Is this guy EVER going to ask me out or what? There was no way I was going to make that first move.
Eventually, however, I caved and suggested that we finally at least meet face to face over brunch or something else not-intimidating. We set a date (that Sunday) and a time (brunch time) and I immediately wanted to vomit because NERVES. Regular Me is a Hot Mess of anxiety and social awkwardness, and while I can navigate a one night stand, an actual Date is something entirely different (Lego Man, hello). Even though we weren’t “going on a date,” I intended to bring my A-game and get a date in the future.
Friday before the Not-Date, he texted me and told me that a couple of his friends were having an anniversary party at the gay bar where I perform in the Friday show, so he’d be able to meet me early. Without going into too many details, I was wearing a corset, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, he kissed me and I went home with him, where he promptly kept me up all night doing delicious Adult Things to/with me. We never went to brunch on the Not-Date, and after a few more failed attempts to get together, I decided that my one night of awesome was all I was gonna get from this guy and moved on.
I met a nice guy in the Air Force on OKCupid and began dating him instead. That relationship went sour too quickly and I held on for too long, and as Shirtless Wonder returned to my life in the form of random flirty texts (such as, and I quote, “You have to tell me if you’re ever single again. This time I’ll sweep you off your feet and keep you.”), I began to wonder just what might have been. At the end of the Air Force relationship, I was somewhat mopey, incredibly annoying to all my friends, and pretty much either drunk or on Xanax most nights just to get to sleep.
In March of 2011, I received this text from Shirtless Wonder – “It’s my birthday today, and all I want in the world is to have a cup of coffee with you.”
How could I say no?
During the coffee date, we rekindled what magic there had been between us all those months ago, and we were back to texting each other pretty much all the time. A week later, I ended up at his house again for a movie and a bottle of wine – and I pretty much never left. The next several months were a blur of deep bonding, awesome sex, and romantic things like reading passages from books to each other in the middle of the night. He took me on a behind-the-scenes tour of the zoo, where I was able to feed almost all the animals. He came to my stand-up comedy shows and my drag shows. I met his friends and tried to understand the world of High Nerdery I’d gotten myself into. (Don’t get me wrong, I am a nerd – but not at that level.) Eventually, I legitimately moved in with him, and that Halloween he proposed.
We’ve been married for three months now, and I’ve never looked back. And when our future kids ask how mommy and daddy met, we’ll tell them we met in a gay bar.
While some studies will tell you that Facebook can lead to divorce, I’ve yet to read one that suggests Facebook can lead to marriage. Maybe someone should get on that.
Have a love story to share? Or maybe something ridiculous that happened on your last date that was so insane that everyone thinks you’re making it up even though you’re not? Then send it my way: email@example.com Thanks, loves.