Oh no! Here’s a letter from a young woman who has been scorned!
I have been cheated on before and kept in the dark about it for 2 months. I feel like every guy who I am with will cheat on me, and I need to just protect myself or be cynically prepared. Any advice on insecurity/paranoia and not letting it ruin my career/life?
First off, that’s terrible! I hope you have friends who will tell you this in person: That’s terrible! I’m so sorry! (Hugs, ice cream, vodka!) You don’t deserve this!
I assume you’ve broken up with this person. Please never sleep with him again. (See Bullish Life: Breaking Up is Hard to Do — Do Not Touch the Phone When You’re Drunk.) I really mean that. It would be better to find a random guy in a bar and say, “I’m kind of tempted to sleep with my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me, but I shouldn’t, right? You look like a nice guy. Maybe I should sleep with you instead,” and then see what happens, even though that is also not a great idea. I’m just giving it for emphasis. Do not reward cheaters.
That said, you do not need to worry that every guy you are with will cheat on you.