This Tim Gunn Ad Is Extremely Upsetting

Look, this Tim Gunn Fifth and Pacific ad is upsetting me for a lot of reasons, all of which I’m going to cover with you, here. But let’s watch it first! Together:

And you might think “Jennifer, this is merely Tim Gunn advertising a collection of shops.” NO IT IS NOT IT IS VERY UPSETTING.

Here’s why:

1) Sometimes I lose complete track of where I am going in New York. I have a very limited directional sense to begin with, so much so that one of the things I love about New York is that all the streets and avenues are numbered. So, for instance, if I am currently on 5th avenue and 26th street, and I need to get to 6th avenue and 30th, I have pretty good odds. Totally random odds, like if you tell me “go northwest” that does not make sense to me. I don’t even know if that’s correct directionally. West is… left… but not always my left, right now? Fuck. I don’t know. The point is, if I go a street in the wrong direction, it is fine, because the numbers will go the wrong way, and I can correct myself. This is true, until you go below 14th street, at which point the streets do begin having names like “Henry.” Or “Bob.” I don’t often go below 14th street. This “being lost and unable to get accurate help from strangers” thing is hitting too close to home for me.

2) I am always trying to give strangers advice on how to get places, and often I end up saying things like “you’re trying to get to Harlem! Take the A train, I think!” only to realize, five minutes afterwards, after they are out of sight, that they were actually only trying to go two blocks away. And I sent them to Harlem. I hope no one ever listens to me.

3) I mean, I’ve lived here, what, four years now? Five. Five years. I should know which streets are in Harlem.

4) There is no $30 cab ride. A cab ride anyplace in Manhattan costs $10, unless you are doing it at midnight on a rainy Saturday night in February, when every single street is blocked, in which case it costs $20. That cabbie is ripping Tim Gunn off.

4) I think Tim Gunn could have been more specific. I think he just confused everyone and now everyone feels bad about themselves. I won’t say “fuck you, Tim Gunn” but seriously. Clarity. Make it work.

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    • Candace

      Whats upsetting is someone thought New York chic meeting California cool was a good idea/meant something.

    • MR

      Harlem is Uptown on the Eastside – IRT express, the 4 to 125th St. All you need to know is from your parts Brooklyn Heights (Boro Hall) is Downtown – that’s the 4 from Union Square. :)

      • MR

        PS. Hint: You’re suppose to challenge me on the my Harlem definition. Yes, I’m testing you and your Manhattan geography. :)

      • Jennifer Wright

        I knew that! I knew that thing about the four train! I think… that is not the train I have taken to Harlem, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about.

      • MR

        I was referring to El Barrio (East Harlem). Most think Harlem is all African-american – that’s more West and Central Harlem. So I was right, you live closer to 14th (Union Square) than 23rd Street? Now, don’t tell me your address, cause you’ll be telling everyone. :)

    • kj

      It’s upsetting because it makes Tim Gunn look like a buffoon. Tim Gunn clearly knows his way around better than that….

    • Jessie

      Going below 14th street gives me such anxiety. Also, fuck Broadway for cutting across Manhattan Diagonally.