Even though you can't be with the people you love, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the same things you used to. My mom and I both are super into Game of Thrones, so we've agreed to watch it together -- i.e. we'll watch it simultaneously from afar with different people, then discuss it together right after like we would if I were actually there in person.
Photo: HBO / Game of Thrones
Seriously. It's totally normal to be upset, especially the first few nights in your new place. It can be so overwhelming to miss people; just try to keep in mind all the exciting things you'll do independently. If possible, distract yourself by reading or watching a movie or going out to a cafe. But no matter what, remember that your emotions are justified and being sad is totally normal in a homesick situation.
Photo: Anders Ljungberg / Flickr
Since I left for college in 2008, I've been writing letters back and forth with my grandmother. She always uses gorgeous stationary, stamps and stickers to personalize the notes, most of which I have saved. I try to use a different card every time (lately, I've been making my own, which I'd be happy to point anybody in the right direction for materials if desired), and practice making my normally abysmal handwriting into delicate, legible cursive.
The whole process is incredibly therapeutic and calming. Plus, you're not staring at a computer screen, typing away and deleting at will; instead, you have to be thoughtful of what you write prior to writing it, and there really is nothing quite like getting a letter in the mail from somebody you love. Both you and your penpal, whomever that may be, will be regularly excited in a way that even Netflix in the mailbox can't touch.
Photo: RowdyKittens / Flickr
Even though you can't be with the people you love, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the same things you used to. My mom and I both are super into Game of Thrones, so we've agreed to watch it together -- i.e. we'll watch it simultaneously from afar with different people, then discuss it together right after like we would if I were actually there in person.
Photo: HBO / Game of Thrones
As I said, I really only remember missing my pets, including my dog Cinnamon. She's small, gentle and the sweetest little Ewok-like creature that one could imagine. Every time I leave home, I am terrified of her dying while I'm away. Having been the one who picked her out in the fourth grade and spent the majority of my life since having her sleep at the foot (or in the middle, when she so chooses) of my bed, I feel a huge connection to her as my childhood pet. I wish I could have brought her with me, but alas, she's something like 12 now and would not appreciate being uprooted from her home; as much as I would love to have her sleep at the foot of all my beds, it'd be unkind and irresponsible of me to confuse her that way.
I also miss my cat, Chloe Evelyn, who is a total asshole but also amazing. But again, as much as I would love to take her with me, it just couldn't work.
However, if you're missing yours a whole lot, one of the best ways to cope is to volunteer at an animal shelter or other animal-related charity. You can socialize with the pets to get them ready for forever homes, feed them and keep them happier than they may otherwise be. Trust me, it seriously helps with miss your own animals.
P.S. But do keep in mind that nobody at bars wants to see how cute your dog/cat/iguana/flying squirrel/sea monkey is. So don't go around showing people pictures, okey doke?
This isn't actually a screenshot of me Skypesexing with somebody; it's just myself and my friend Bryan, who's the last person I Skyped with. Facetiming and Skyping are surprisingly wonderful ways to "hang out" while your friends and you are far apart. Just ask Madame Chatel, who's in Paris right now; we Skyped for like six hours a couple weeks ago and it basically felt like we had hung out the whole day.
Of course, if you are seeing somebody and wish to enjoy their, ahem, company...do it. It will likely help your long-distance relationship quite a bit, actually.
You should avoid discussing everyone in your past with the people you meet. Talking about certain experiences or places you've been with your older friends makes sense; those are the things that have come to shape you. However, if you find yourself continuously rambling about how nostalgic you are for the past, you'll find yourself living in it rather than meeting new people, finding new adventures and gaining new life experience wherever you are now.
Photo: John Steven F. / Flickr
Now that I don't have a car, I find myself walking constantly (a big change from living in various suburbs and driving cities the majority of my life). I'm typically busy in the morning and, due to the time difference, often can't line up solid conversations with people on the East Coast in the evening, so I wind up calling them while I'm walking to get groceries in the afternoon or running other errands. The calls need not last long nor keep you stagnant the way Skype tends to, so they're an excellent way to reconnect for a few moments during the day.
As I said in my Guide To Going Places Alone the other day, there are tons of ways to go about doing stuff on your own. When people aren't around their loved ones, sometimes they wind up not doing the stuff they once enjoyed. I personally love getting my nails done but almost exclusively got them with other people. Now, however, I don't have anybody who likes manicures that I know, so going on my own is the only option. I've realized, though, that since you can often barely talk during manicures anyway, it really doesn't matter whether I go alone or with somebody: it's the experience and the relaxation that I crave, not the socialization.
If you enjoy doing something, keep doing it even if you're not super used to doing it on your own. If you like minigolf, go play minigolf. If you used to have a gym buddy, try going to the gym on your own and maybe you'll wind up meeting a new one. You'll still be able to have fun at these activities if you enjoyed them in the first place, and maybe even if you didn't.
Photo: ShortcutsUSA / Flickr
Obviously, when you're really upset, it makes sense to seek comfort in the people who love you and know you best. But if you find yourself calling ten people a night, texting everyone how much you miss them and Skyping with your parents every time you're uncomfortable with the new place you're in, you need to tone it down and figure out some other way to deal. Otherwise, it goes from simply keeping in contact to keeping your foot in the door of the past, and moving forward will be delayed, if not impossible.
Photo: Robert S. Donovan / Flickr
