How To Cover Up Your Dark, Hideous Under Eye Circles So That People Will Love You



Dark under eye circles: everyone who parties has them. People who work too much have them, too. And don’t get me started on what it’s like to party and work too much. Even Nico had them, and she was a supermodel. You can see glimpses of them in the “screen test” video Andy Warhol made of her face. If you have dark under eye circles, you should watch this video to feel better about yourself. It worked for me.

Rule #1 of banishing under eye circles: don’t be a heroin addict!

But if that is not a thing you can quit (either because you don’t do it in the first place, or because you love heroin), what else can you do to make those suckers go away? As anyone who has read a women’s magazine knows, no one will ever love you if your face does not resemble the faces in cosmetics ads. Do you want to die like Nico, all washed up and alone in Ibiza with no one to yell at the doctor to treat you even though you don’t qualify for Spain’s socialized medicine program? I didn’t think so.

I usually wear mine like a badge of degenerate pride, but every now and then I like to slum it in the world of conventional beauty, and maybe you do, too. So I asked my friend Jessica Plummer, a makeup artist who works at MAC cosmetics, for some helpful tips.

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    • Alle

      As someone who has dark circles of epic proportions, I say: YSL Touche Eclat. Seriously. I know everyone says how great it is so it can’t possibly be that good, but OH. IT IS.

      I don’t love it for zit concealing, but whatever. Mac Mineralise concealer for that.

      Finally, Smashbox bb cream is the way to go. I’ve tried nine or ten, including the Garnier, and the Smashbox is far and away the best. You should still never fall asleep in it, though. *mum comment*

    • Elizabeth

      I don’t see Nico’s dark circles. I feel like maybe those are just … shadows?

    • alexandra

      Full disclosure: your face, in that photo, looks completely fine to me.

    • Lilac

      Couldn’t you have used a better camera?